Bella and Jacob: The Incomplete Thing
by Z.K.BigDreamZ
Summary: This is my first fan fiction, hope you like it! It has been three years since Bella Cullen has turned into a Vampire. At first she was happy but now, she misses being human. She realizes that she has feeling for Jacob Black, her best friend, which are now increasing day by day. She is confused between Edward and Jacob.Read an amazing story about Bella and Jacob. Lemons awaits you!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Confused

(SIGH)

I watched rain drops falling from the window of my bedroom, no; _our bedroom. _The outdoor had changed so much. It's been three years since Edward;

Since _I _turned in to a vampire…since three years I am eighteen…three years have passed since I have been a part of the Cullen family. I love them. They have given me everything… a life partner, a beautiful daughter, all the love a family can give someone but then…

Why am I being so, so disturbed? So confused? Why am I feeling that I am incomplete? Like I need someone?

Why am I feeling such emptiness…? I have everything that I wanted… Everything. This incomplete thing was taking over my mind but I cannot do anything…

I heard, and smelled Edward coming through the door. Now, my senses were like him, even better than him. My strength greater than him. My beauty, I am not baffling but little less than him.

"Bella…" he said in his icy tone. I am so used to it.

I turned my gaze towards him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me with all the concern.

"Nothing…just…" I spoke and became silent. I didn't know what to say…

"How deeply I wish that I can read your mind…" he said and sat next to me on _our_ bed.

"But I can tell something is troubling you Bella…what it is?" he asked.

He can so easily read my face, but honestly I also don't know what's troubling me… what is making me so depressed. But maybe… maybe I know it…

"It's nothing Edward…don't worry because of me…" I told him softly.

Edward kept quiet.

I don't like that look on his face.

"I… just think I… need a change in routine...That's all." I said vaguely.

He seemed not to believe me. And then he turned his face toward me and came forward.

He put his icy cold hand on my cheeks… which I couldn't make out because now our temperatures are same…

He moved his face closer to mine, his lips inches away from me and then he kissed me.

Any girl in place of me would have never let go it, it was such a beautiful kiss.

Edward curled his lips on mine very softly. He smooched every corner of my lip. He started off softly and kissed me.

The kiss was turning full of passion. I can feel it…now, he was kissing me stronger.

His other hand was going on my waist and down between my legs while he was kissing me…he was in a playful mood I guess… his hands tightly caught me on my waist and I was enjoying it as usual… yes… _as usual…_

His hands were now under my shirt and reaching my bra. I kept my hand over his shoulder as a reply to all his actions. I stonily caught his hairs. Edward was always unexpected. His lips reached my neck and he started kissing it. As his hands reached to undone my jeans button I spoke.

"Edward-? I hear Renesmee." I spoke shortly.

He didn't let go of me, but stopped kissing me tried to hear. Oh, he was so lost in pleasuring me but, me? I was not so carried away in kissing Edward…

Renesmee opened the door... and Edward removed his hands from my bra and jeans. I sighed.

"Daddy, I am ready." She spoke comparatively cheerful than me.

Renesmee, my daughter she had grown so much. She is a hybrid of a vampire and human. Her growing rate is fast. Today she should be three years old but she is fourteen, and next year…. She will a year older to her father…

"Darling we are not leaving today…" Edward answered.

"And we are going for a month… you need a bigger bag than your school bag, hon." He added.

"oh." She said. "But, I just can't wait to go to ilse-esme! Aunt Alice told me-" she stopped.

"What?" I asked.

"She told me that you spend… that you made you're…" Renesmee said slowly. But I knew what she was saying.

"You made your honeymoon there." She said snorting.

Edward smiled and I covered my face in cheering shame. Alice, how can she tell, my daughter that? I have to talk to her… I can't stop a smile.

"Well, she is not wrong…" Edward said.

"SHHH!" I told him.

"Don't tell her that." I Whispered to Edward.

I couldn't believe it is so hard to talk about our sex life in front of your kids… WHY THE HELL AM I SMILING?

Renesmee stopped giggling and spoke.

"Mum, I just wish you could also come with us…" she said.

"Oh, baby! I can't!" I said hugging Renesmee.

"Everyone, instead of Carlisle, is going there...Someone has to be here with him…right?"

"Then why mama stay with him?" She asked.

"Esme have not visited the island since centauries… and Jasper and Alice deserves a vacation… Don't worry; you'll be fine sweetheart…" I answered.

"It's not a big deal, Bella; you can still come with us. Emmet and Rosalie can stay…"

"No!" I cut through Edward's word and spoke.

"No, Edward I've told you before that I can't do that… they are wasting their time sitting here in the house they do deserve a love-slash-family holiday." I said in a breath.

Edward and Renesmee both were satisfied with my _excuses. _

Honestly, I didn't want to go. What is the use of spending a month in an island… I mean it sounds great but I am not into that…And I was not going, too.

"So, Renesmee let me help you with packing…" Edward said coolly to Renesmee.

"No, I am growing up, I can pack myself."

"Certainly." Edward sighed. He was not used to be a father, but he is trying…

Renesmee went out of the room and Edward and I were alone again.

"Well I hope you remember that tomorrow you have to go at Charlie's?" Edward asked me.

"Uh? Yeah, sure how can I forget that?" Well I had forgotten Charlie's promotion party. I am so happy for him. He is now the head of his department and the salary is better.

"So be ready… because I can't see much time in tomorrow…" Edward said pointing at the wall clock which showed only five minutes to twelve a.m.

"Hmm…" I shushed.

"Well I am going to check on Renesmee… and …" Edward said and he came forward and he kissed my forehead.

"… I love you…" He said. I smiled weakly. Then he went out.

He loved me so much. I too _loved him_… but this uncertainty was getting over me. Maybe this was because I was surrounded by vampires, but Edward is surrounded by them since centauries and everyone else in the house has no problem but me? I have no idea… Maybe visiting Charlie would help me…

Well, I had a whole night to think as I don't sleep. It's a free gift that you receive after being a vampire… this makes me chuckle.

Now I just can't wait to go to Charlie's…

It was cloudy day in Forks today and everyone was ready apart from me and Carlisle. Renesmee was really excited.

"I can't wait to reach there!" Renesmee remarked. She looked a little grown then tomorrow. She was turning into a beautiful lady, as I can see.

"I wish you could come with us, Bella." Alice said.

"It's not too late, you can still pack your bags." Carlisle said.

"No, it's fine Carlisle… you will be alone, and that do not please me…"

"We can stay." Emmet said and Rosalie glared at him.

"No, y-you should go." I said.

"Okay, then we should leave for the airport. Come on Renesmee sit in the car, darling." Esme said tentatively.

Renesmee and Esme sat in one car and Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmet in their owns.

I was standing at the door when Edward came to me.

"I am going to miss you." He whispered.

I sighed.

He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me on my lips. He kissed me softly. He let it go when he heard Esme coughing.

"We're getting late, Edward." She said with pleasure.

Edward nodded and went to the car with Renesmee and Esme. He looked at me and smiled. Everyone else waved at me. Renesmee gave me a flying kiss and they disappear from the view.

I went inside the house and looked at the clock. It was quarter to four. In next two hours I have to get ready and visit Charlie. I would have chosen to wear my old jeans and t-shirt, but when you are a Cullen your wardrobe is modified completely. Alice had thrown every cloth of mine and in place of them placed hundredths of lavish silk dresses and gowns. Well I was succeeded in keeping a few but they are not so appropriate for an evening out…

I spend some time reading Shakespeare when I realize it was time for me to get ready. I went to the bathroom and took a bath. But when you are a vampire you don't need to have it because it do not cause any difference. Well I was just wearing my undergarments and staring myself at the mirror… I was pale white and my hair a little bronze. Any outsider, or a human would get me as the genetic sister of Edward but I was vampire…

I covered my body with a blue knee length dress. I wore my gimmy choos. I wore a pair of platinum earrings that Edward gifted me at our wedding anniversary, of which I gave him a splendid sex. I combed my hair. And applied make up, which I didn't need. In just three years living with Alice I have acquired the ability to make you to look good.

On the other hand I was ready… at time. It was seven o' clock, and I told Carlisle that I was going at Charlie's and he told me to be careful.

Unlike everyone else I can control my thirst to human blood. I don't even feel like being thirsty. That's _my free gift_. I jumped in to my Mercedes and drove at Charlie's. I reached my ex-house and it was the same instead of it was decorated with lights and numerous cars were parked outside, some of them were police cars. I parked my car and reached at Charlie's front door, I could hear the music. I knocked it.

I could hear Charlie coming and he opened the door.

"Bells… you're in time." He said. "Looking good."

"Hi, dad." I said. I was seeing him after so much time. He was same in an unusual way. A little wrinkled but same. How much can you change in three years? Sigh.

"Well come in." He said.

"Congratulations for the promotion." I said and gave him the flowers which I had bought for him. He looked a little confused and hesitated but took the flowers. He didn't expected me to be like that.

"Thank you, Bella." He said.

"How are you?" I asked

"I am meeting you after a long time, Bells." He said.

"You're beautiful." He added.

"Aw, dad, I am very happy for you."

He smiled.

"Where is Edward?"

"They… are in a vacation." I answered.

"You didn't go?" Charlie asked me inquiringly.

"Then I wouldn't get the chance to meet you here…"

"Yeah right…Go, make yourself comfortable, I'll be back in a minute."

"Shall I help you in the kitchen?" I offered. It's been years since I cooked.

"No it is fine." He said and went to the kitchen.

I reached the living room, it was decorated with ribbons and several gifts and flowers were there. Many cops were their chatting. Some young people were their too. Probably their kids. It was a sight of hustle and bustle and maybe for the first time there were so many people in Charlie's house. He had even organized a dance floor. Eatables were on the table and then I heard a group o f people roaring with laughter…Then I saw at the corner. A group of muscular people, surrounding an old man on a wheelchair and talking.

The werewolves have noticed me coming. Of course, they can smell any vampire hundred miles away…They were all looking at me with the corner of their eyes. I could make out there was Paul, Sam, Seth who waved at me, Leah who was glaring and then… I saw _him_. Him. My best friend…

Jacob Black.

I don't know why but I felt my chest contrasting. I looked at him with the expression of disbelief, familiarity, alliance and shame…


	2. Chapter 2 Ignition

**Chapter 2- Ignition **

I knew that he was watching me…he haven't changed at all, but slightly taller. His short hair straight till the nape of his neck… his dark eyes scanning me up and down…his lips smiling…

This was the same person.

Jacob came toward me walking. I was becoming nervous…WHY? He came towards me and flunked his arms around me very tightly and… gave me a hug. This was strange… this means he is still my friend. Best friend. Even if I neglected him and became a vampire… he still remembers me…

"Oh, Bella, such a long time." He said composedly after letting go of the hug. I was still in a peculiar state.

"Yeah…" I said. Guilt ridden.

"I didn't see you around…" he said.

"Neither I see you." I said uncomfortably.

"BELLA!" Seth came shouting.

"Hey." I said cordially. "How are you?"

"Missing you! Of course." He said.

"Aw, Seth, come here!" I said and I embraced him.

"Bella." Billy called out my name.

"How are you?" I asked him.

"I am the same old man on the same old wheelchair…" he joked and the werewolves guffawed.

"…just as the _same old Bella_…." He finished his joke or I must say _sarcasm_ as he laid stress on the last three words.

I pursed my lips, they all smelled horrible. The Cullen's were right.

"Come on everybody, DINNER!" Charlie called out. Thank god. The Black's went to the food table and Jacob was just the on standing beside m. I don't why I was being so nervous around him, if I had a heart it must be racing…sigh… Jacob was so warm, I can feel his warmth from inches away, and I have forgotten what it is like to be warm. Jacob smiled at me and went to the food table without a word. Charlie was very busy with the guests; some were also the chiefs from the police station. I silently escaped the drawing room, afraid as someone will make me eat.

I went to the kitchen. Messed up. Direction change, I told myself. I climbed the staircase and reached my bedroom. Oh. I kind of missed my old bedroom. My small bedroom. It was not changed since I left. The bed, table, curtains even the bed sheets… the window.

I stood near the window. I remember everything started from here technically… how Edward used to come up to my room from here… watch me sleep. How…Jacob climbs the tree to reach my room…

"Hey, what are you doing?" A voice came. A Werewolf's voice. Jacob came inside the room holding a plate with pie on it.

"Nothing just paying a visit to the room, that's all." I said not meeting his eyes. "How did you find me?"

"It wasn't difficult." He said pointing to his nose. I nodded. "And it is a lot more easier since you became - uh – changed." He said loosely.

I turned my gaze to the floor.

"Where's Renesmee? And all?" He meant the Cullen's.

"They are in a vacation."

"And you are not?" Jacob asked viciously.

"No, I didn't want to go." I answered truly.

"Want pie." He offered.

"Sorry, I don't eat." I said. "It's a vamp thing…" I said, tried to make a joke of it.

"Hey, don't." Jacob said.

"What?" I said looking down.

"Don't be _ashamed_ of what you did, it was your decision and I respect it."

"Thanks, Jake…" I said hiding my wet eyes.

For a moment we both kept silence, looking out at the beautiful moon. He was not angry with me. He was still my frien, and playing it well…

"So tell me…" Jacob began.

"What?" I asked daringly.

"Are you happy?"

"Wha-? Ya-, Yeah, yes…I am. Why would you ask that?" I said croakily.

"I don't know, maybe because I can't see you happy." He said faintly.

"What? No! I am happy, Jacob." I said agitatedly. _Was I?_

"Bella, don't lie." Jacob said peacefully.

"Why would you think that?" I asked him offensively.

"I just…want you happy." He said.

"Why?" I asked quickly.

"Because I love you." He said in a moment. "Still." He added.

I didn't believe him. He was lying, or joking…but did love me in the past. And he still does. These words meant a lot to me. I don't know why but from inside, now I _was happy_. I directly looked into his eyes for the first time since I came to Charlie's today. No, these eyes cannot tell a lie.

"Well, today you are looking beautiful…" He said removing a strand of hair from my eyes with his fingers.

His touch made me jump. It gave me Goosebumps. He took his finger to my cheeks and held my chin very softly with his hand. He put his other hand on my back and slowly moved me towards him. I didn't stop him. I don't know why…

"You're cold." He whispered.

"You're hot." I said. He giggled. I meant _warm_.

He was still holding me and we can hear slow music from downstairs. It was our background music. He held me strongly on my waist and moved his face closer to mine, he closed his eyes and I closed mine. I can fell his hot breath. I put my hands over his shoulders and caught his neck…My lips were inches away from his… my forehead touched Jacob's forehead. My nose touched his nose. I wasn't moving forward or backward. I was letting everything happen… I think I was enjoying it… Jacob came further and his upper lip touched my lip. I jumped and he held me more strongly. I liked the grip. His lips were just going to collided with mine, just then…

"JACOB!" Billy called from downstairs.

I automatically let go of Jacob, breathing heavily. I turned my head toward the window to avoid his eyes.

"Bella?" He called out my name tenderly. I messed my eyes.

"Jacob go." I requested.

He put his hand on my shoulder and I pleasured with his touch.

"Jacob!" Billy called out again.

"I have to go." He said and went.

I was alone in the room. What was I doing? Was the first question o myself. I am married I reminded myself, with the most beautiful creature on earth. Then why?

_Because I love you_. Jacob's word echoed in my mind.

I went downstairs and get to know that the werewolves had gone. I went to Charlie.

"Did you eat?" He asked me.

"Yeah, it was good, you're improving." I lied. About eating.

"Thanks, and thanks for the flowers." He said and it was followed with an awkward silence.

"I think I must go." I said.

"Will you drive?"

"I am not high as you." I joked.

"Okay kid, bye." Charlie said warmly.

I nodded and went out. I told him that I will go and Charlie went to other guests…Well visiting Charlie was really a change in routine…

I opened the car door of my Mercedes and found a piece of paper with something written on that.

I'm Sorry. I shouldn't have done that, hope you understand.

J.B

Jacob left that note. He was sorry.

No!

I should be the one who should be sorry. I did a wrong thing. I didn't make him stop. I was lost in finding sexual pleasure….aghh! I was wrong in doing that and I know that…

I sat in the car and drove back to Cullen house with the note still clenched in my hand realizing that I had feelings igniting for Jacob….


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you 'Butterfly 689' for the constant reading of my chapters, I really appreciate that. _

_And now chapter 3!_

**Chapter 3- ****Acceptance**

_I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Hope you understand._

_J.B. _

It was raining outside and the temperature was cool…I held the note in my hands. He thought I would understand….understand what? I asked myself sitting on the sofa in the living room all alone in the house as Carlisle was off to the hospital. I was not able to forget whatever happened yesterday at Charlie's house…

Deep inside, I don't know why that I was very happy to see Jacob after so much time. I was _warm _inside after these years to be touched by him… this is very bizarre my brain told me. I am married, have a family, I can't do this. Thinking of my family my i-phone rang.

Edward's photo flashed on the screen.

"Hello." I said coldly.

"Mommy, I miss you soooooo much!" Renesmee shrieked with joy.

"Hey baby, how are you?" I questioned.

"Mom, you missed so much! I went in the sea and the forest, and the waterfall, and the house where you and dad made your-" she stopped. "Oops sorry." She added.

I sniggered.

"It's Okay, baby. Good you are enjoying, how is everyone else?" I asked.

"They are good. Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper are with us but I haven't seen Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmet for two days. They said that they were going in another room and didn't came out of it since then…I wonder what are they doing inside?"

"Wha-?" I said. I laughed. They are having sex for two days. They have crossed the limits. Amusing.

"Why are you laughing?" Renesmee asked me.

"Nothing dear. Don't talk about that to anyone. Okay?" I said, still laughing.

"Yeah, dad told me that."

"Good."

"Bella-?" Edward said in his cold voice.

"At least let me say goodbye!" Renesmee demanded.

"Take it." Edward said and handed over the phone to Renesmee.

"Bye mom! Take care… yeah- talk to dad."

"Yeah sweetie, bye." I said.

"Bella-?" Edward said again.

"Edward." I said huffily.

"I love you."

"Hmmm."

"Is this a punishment you have given me? To stay away from you for so long? Tell me?"

"You are coming back." I said a little irritably.

"I can't wait to come back."

"Yes."

Edward. My interest was not in talking to him. I wanted to talk to Jacob. Ask him why is he being sorry? Ask him why am I being incomplete? Edward just said 'I love you to me', but it did not affect me like Jacob's…

"I can't wait to cuddle with you on our bed, Bella." Edward said passionately.

"Me too." I lied.

"Oh, Bella I miss you." He said.

"I got go Edward, Carlisle needs me in the garden. Bye." I said and hung up.

It was too much to take. It was right. He loved me but just repeating that was very irritating. Edward was just like this he always behaves like this…. I was not sure why I was angry with him. But I was…

The note was still in my hands. I remembered what happened last night. Jacob was so close to me. So close to my lips. I wish he could have kissed me.

What?

What was I thinking at that time? NO! This is wrong.

"_Because I love you."_

Jacob's word echoed in my mind. I am so confused about what I want! I can't stand it. My brain is telling me this is wrong but my heart just the opposite and I like the opposite…

I was so pleasured in the way Jacob held me in his arms last night. So tight. So right.

His hot breath on my face. So right.

Edward have given me wonderful nights but… the truth is I am not… I am not fond of him anymore… I know I am a selfish bitch. That I get what I wanted every time, but now I can't stand him… I made a mistake three years ago… that I chose him…

_I shouldn't have done that. _

I was grateful to Edward that he called. That I _now_ know what I want.

I have to accept that….that….

_I love Jacob. _

I don't know what is I thinking but now I am going to La Push to confess my love because I can't stand it anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Confession.**

I don't know what I'll say when I will confront Jacob…I don't know how I will say it but…I have to do this.

If I didn't do it today I can't do it any other day and I am aware of it.

I picked up my car keys and strode out of the house. My phone rang many times but I ignored it. I sat I n my Mercedes and headed to La Push. It was raining heavily, the rood was very slippery o maybe I was driving too fast and loosing the grip…I reached the on the outside of La Push. The werewolves must have smelled a vampire, and they did as they were standing on the road towards the beach in a line facing towards me in the garrulous heavy rain. I stopped the car. I rolled down the window as Sam came near to talk.

"What are you doing here?" He asked rudely. Water dripping from his hair and completely drenched. I have given them, so much trouble in the past that they were buried that I was here with a new chronicle. As a fact I was, but it did not include them.

"I am here to meet someone." I said serenely. Jacob was not among the pack of wolves on the road.

"Who you wanna meet?" Paul asked from the row.

I kept quite.

Leah and the others were glaring at me with no reason, only Seth showed some cordial expression.

_It's none of your business._ I wanted to say but, then they will send me out. But today I needed to enter La Push.

"Jacob." I whispered.

Sam widened his eyes and Leah barked from behind.

"How much will you trouble him, huh?"

"I was looking forward to a peaceful talk to him, that's all!" I answered.

She snarled.

"Can I _go_?" I asked Sam. Though I knew he would let me.

He looked back at the others and then said "Yeah, go."

I roared the engine to life and the werewolves walked out of the way. Then I drove quickly. The rain was making it difficult to see, but I reached at the Black's.

I turned down the engine and came out of the car. It took no second for rain to damp me. I walked toward the door, nervous that how will I do it. I hope Billy was not at home. And to my surprised I could only smell one werewolf. I waited outside as I knew Jacob would come out smelling me and he…did.

He opened the door.

"Bella-?" he said, looking surprised and happy both to see me, but his expression harden and as he called out my name I became so nervous and my body gave me chills as I looked at him. He was so handsome, his jet black hair…his eyes…his lips…

"J-Jake-?" I murmured.

"Bella look I don't think we should talk…I… told you that I was sorry that I got my feelings overcome my _endurance_ and I am sorr _hurt_ you, so _go away_…" he blurred out.

I could the pain while he said the last two words.

"Jacob…!" I said quickly as he turned around to go inside.

"Jacob why are you feeling sorry? You didn't do anything wrong, Jake." I said and made my water dripping hair out of my face, I was so nervous that I didn't look into his eyes.

He stopped and faced me. I looked at the ground; the rain was so heavy that it was difficult to keep my eyes open but managed.

"Jacob, listen to me, I am here for confession…it is making me suffocate, making me hard to breathe and think…that night…" I said but he cut me off.

"…that night I acted as a fool, I know you are married, I know you are a mother, I know this is the think that suffocating you…so let's leave ourselves alone!" he said meaninglessly.

"No!-No! You are getting it all wrong! Jacob you are getting it wrong!" I said pleadingly.

"So give the right." He spitted out.

"Jacob, it is hard for me to make you understand…" I mumbled as the rain drops kept on coming and wet me, make me feel _heavier_…

"But I will try." I said and took a step further. He stood with his hands crossed around his hands listening to me.

"That night when you were…near me…I felt…felt right, like I have felt in the past years." I said looking at the ground.

"Look in my eyes Bella." He said firmly.

"I looked in his eyes full of love and passion for me. I removed the hair from my face looked at him and spoke.

"That night…I felt…what I should have felt three years ago…I am not happy to be a vampire Jacob, I am not happy. I know I have given you the biggest troubles in your life and the reason for the pain that you feel is me…I know." I said nervously.

"I know after what I will say you will be sarcastic, telling me that you were right, but you were right Jacob, _you were_. _I don't love Edward_… and today I f you don't accept me…it will be fine because it was my fault…mine." I said and felt a choke in my neck and my eyes wet and _warm._

"Accept you for what, Bella?" Jacob asked innocently.

"… With you being around is warm and secure, Jake which I don't feel around Edward…I was wrong- yes- I was wrong…" I said and Jacob's expressions soften.

"…to choose Edward and leave you behind but the truth is…the truth is…I miss you…miss your laugh, your jokes, your security, your _warmth_…and you should know that I…I…" I whispered.

"What is it, Bella?" he asked loudly.

"I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU JACOB!" I shouted. And I realized that I had done it, confessed to Jacob that I loved him, and Love him more than anyone.

Anyone.

And the next thing I know was that Jacob came towards me, in the rain. Slipped his hand in my waist and stare into my eyes.

"I knew it, Bella. I knew." He said and placed his lips on mine.

I didn't stop him. I held him tight on his neck and he moved his lips swiftly on mine, and I enjoyed the feeling. The feeling that I had never felt with Edward.

Jacob lips were warm and he moved his lips in a pleasurable motion on mine. He strongly gripped my waist and I could feel the heat between my legs…he moved his hands into my hairs and continued kissing me… I was so happy, he accepted me, and he loved me…I loved him…I had confessed to him…I did it.

Suddenly Jacob stopped kissing. And stared at me, he was wet like me and smiling, I smiled back. He put his hands on my face and grinned.

"Let's go inside." He said pleasantly, and I followed him toward the door with his hands in my hand and I felt so affectionate to him, and ignored all the missed calls from someone called Edward Cullen.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5- The new beginning…**

"Let's go inside." Jacob said pleasantly. I followed him and blushed as he placed his hands on my back…

He stopped at the door and looked at me. I was clueless what was going to happen next. Jacob cam towards me and picked me up in his arms. I was in his strong, warm arms…

"It should be grand." He whispered.

"Why-?" I asked naively.

"Bella? Don't you realize that it is the _first_ time _we_ are coming inside the house as a _couple_- _together_-?" he said amiably.

I was overwhelmed. I wrapped my arms around him tenderly and he seemed to be enjoying it. He pushed the door inside and we enter the room, smiling at each other…I could hear his heart beating. _Fast_. It was still raining outside and water was dripping from both our heads. The house was the same, though a little dark and messy.

Jacob carefully placed me in the sofa and ran to the closet and bought two towels and I extended my hand to have it but he refused.

"Can I have the pleasure-?" he said.

"Uh-? Ya...Yeah! Sure Jake…" I said a little taken aback.

Jacob came over my head and placed the towel on my head and started rubbing my head gently. His warm fingers sometimes touched my face. My clothes were all damped but it was okay as Jacob had placed a fire in the fire place. It was warm in the air, although I couldn't feel it. He whipped my shoulders from the towel and I was thinking for words to start a conversation…Jacob came and sat next to me and glanced at me. It felt like he was scanning me.

"What-?" I asked nervously.

"Nothing- it is just… you are beautiful." He said holding my hand. His hand was blazing hot.

I blushed.

"Even more when you blush." He said.

I smiled at him.

"So… tell me one thing how-? When…? How did this happen?" he asked me.

I was not sure myself… I mean I didn't know the correct answer. But I didn't wait to think.

"I love you Jacob." I said shifting to get more near to him. He held my hands tighter.

"I… I didn't realize this three years ago, I had my mind closed and was fussing over _him_…but…" I said looking at his expressions.

"…but… I realized that how much I missed you and how much I need you, to be in my life…"

"It is okay, Bella. I am happy that you realized it, because I can never love anyone but you…" he whispered and kissed my hand. I beamed at him.

"Why didn't you visit me after Renesmee was born?" I asked him.

"I…I…uh, wanted to give you space and didn't wanted to keep you reminding that I have feeling for you and make living with _him,_ more _uncomfortable_…"

"_More_?"

"Yeah, you were a new born Vampire and all those things of self control around you, I just didn't felt to be near you at that time and then I got carried away with the pack…and I…" He stopped as I kept my finger on his lips to make him quite.

"You don't need to stress…I have given you way too much trouble, but- not anymore Jacob- not anymore, forget about the past, let's face what is ahead of us…and-.." he stopped me to but not with his fingers but with his lips…

Jacob pressed his lips against mine and I kissed him back. He inserted his hands in my still soggy hair and I caught his hairs. He gave me a clue, as his tongue touched the corner of my lip, but then I inserted my tongue in his mouth and he smirked. He placed his hands on my waist and I wrapped my legs around him. It was funny, how cold reacted to warm… it was tingles, just increased the pleasure, and the fire placed in the fire place gave the room an orange glow or maybe it was sunset, and my phone beeped thrice, but I didn't care as long as I was in Jacob's arms…

It was getting dark as I was hurrying toward the Cullen mansion in my Mercedes…

Today was the best day of my life, today I feel free, and I can sense a new beginning…but just my thoughts were interrupted while I was kissing Jacob by the constant ringing of my phone…

Sigh. Someone else loves me too….

While, I was kissing Jacob, Edward had called me numerous time and my phone was on vibrate, Jacob asked me to pick it up and then continue, and I was a little embarrassed and I picked up the phone…

"Bella? Where are you?" Edward bellowed.

"I am sorry Edward, I was in the bathroom…"

"For the last two hours?" he quizzed.

"I…I am sorry, Edward, at least … don't yell at me!" I said trying to change his question.

"I am sorry." He said frigidly.

"I am just worried about you, I feel like coming back…" he continued.

"What?" I said. Coming back? He cannot come back. Now. Jacob and I can never meet again then…no, this can't happen. He was supposed to stay there one month so he will stay there for one month.

"No, Edward…" I began.

"You don't want me to come"? He asked.

"No, it's not that, I love you." I lied. "I love you, and that is why, you have to understand…understand that it is so important for Renesmee to be there, don't take it away from her…"

"You are not hiding anything from me, right?" He asked. I looked at Jacob who was now standing, and looking at me, I smiled back.

"No." I said.

"I love you, Bella, I can't live without you…" he spoke in his seductive tone.

"Me too." I said. He hung up.

"You lied because _of me."_ Jacob said.

"No, _I lied for you_."

"_For us_." He said and hugged me. Then after another five minutes of kissing I departed from there.

I turned around the street and honked to a group of children to get out of the way. The rain had stopped and I was already missing Jacob. It was so good to have his arms around you and his lips on your own… I can feel their taste, so sweet…

I pull brakes as I reached the Cullen Home. Carlisle was back, I was not in a mood to give answers….

"Where were you?" He asked as I entered the drawing room, he was reading Sherlock Holmes.

"Just went to meet some friends." I said.

"What's that smell?"

DANM. I didn't thought about that. I had werewolf essence _on my body_.

"I…I was at Charlie…" I began.

"But this smell, is like ware-" Carlisle spoke.

"Yes! Billy was there, I might have _hugged _him." I said genially.

Carlisle nodded. He seemed to have taken my story, phew…

"I am going to my room…"

"Good night…" he said.

_Yeah, as if I have nights_…I thought as I walked up the stairs.

I sat on my bed, and flashbacked what happened today, it was all amazing…

I can't wait to see Jacob again…

"You always, liked reading…?" Jacob asked and held my hand.

"Yes." I said and cuddled him more tightly. We were sitting on the same sofa and this was the third time I have visited Jacob.

"Stop tingling me!" I yelled at him fondly as he moved his hands on my neck.

"I am massaging you!" he smirked. Today evening was warm, partly clouded as the sun had begun to set, I was at Jacob's since morning and I was not fond of leaving…

"You should read too…" I told him and scanned the whole room for the first time I had come.

"Where is Billy?" I asked, realizing it now that he was not here.

"He… is at the village, at the funeral of my great aunt… so he is away for the couple more weeks."

"Oh…I am sorry for her…" I said pressing Jacob's hand on my lips.

"Nah… it's fine, honestly, I haven't seen her once in my life… but she was important for dad."

I nodded.

"Why, why aren't you with your pack nowadays?" I asked.

"I am on a holiday, they think the wolf-thing is overcoming me…" he chuckled.

"Didn't they ask you about me?" I inquired.

"About you? Why?"

"No, they saw me coming at yours that day I visited you for the first time, and they asked me why I was here and I told them that I was here to see you…"

"Oh, that is why Seth was bugging me about you! Was he there at that time?"

"Yes, he was." I said hesitantly.

"And the rest of them were so strange when I met them the other day…" he snorted.

"Do they have a problem with me?" I asked worriedly.

"No…they don't know about you, I haven't told them…"

"Really?"

"Yes, but…." He said and looked away.

"What? Look at me." I said determinedly.

"To hide this thing from them is hard…but I will hide it from them, for us, unless…" he said audaciously.

"Unless, what?" I asked impractically.

Jacob jerked me down on the sofa so he was above me and was down and he looked into my eyes. I was completely shocked. He was lying above me and I was lying below him. His hot breadth was on my face. I didn't know what to do. He held my wrists with his hands on the either sides of me and spoke.

"Unless… I get something in …return…" he said with naughtiness in his voice…

"Wha-?" I whispered. Giggled.

"I want the reward to hide this story…you know…" Jacob said as he moved his hands from my lips to my neck and from there to my shoulder, under my shirt and under the strap of my bra…his every touch made me jump. His hand circling my shoulder…It was so different from Edward's…

"Jacob-? Wha-?" I said, befuddled.

But Jacob didn't respond. His lips were on mine and he was kissing me. I kissed him back, affectionately. His tongue inside my mouth and his hands under my shirt for the first time. I didn't understand. His hot fingers played around my stomach for a while…I felt so nervous… did he meant what I think? I was waiting for this moment for a long time… but to have sex with him now… at this time….?

Jacob hands were under the hook of my bra, when I gasped.

"Jacob, no." I said uneasily.

"Wha-?" he said perplexedly.

"Jacob… I am not ready for this…now." I said inhaling.

"Bella?" he said as he sat on the sofa and I stood up.

"I am sorry." I said.

"No-no-no. Its fine…" he said holding my wrist and standing and making me face him…

"It doesn't matter as long as you don't feel like doing it, ok Bella?"

"Thank you Jacob." I said peacefully.

He took me in his arms and kissed me. I put my hands around him and we kissed for some time more. I was so much in love with this man…

I was driving back to the Cullen mansion and the thought of Jacob wanting to have sex with me was in my mind…

He had made the move…

I stopped him, because I was not ready, because, because I was thinking about Edward…

But Jacob is so firm. His touch is eccentric. I too wanted it…

I too wanted to make love with him, but my inner self is not ready… maybe will be ready by tomorrow…

(smile)


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: The Complete Thing**.

"Don't press the clutch too tightly… yeah, - softer!" Jacob said.

It was raining outside and we were in the garage. I was sitting on Jacob's bike and he was in front of me, standing giving me instructions.

"Not so loud! It's all broken… I have to fiddle with a lot to bring it back to the normal state… see even the brake is shaking…!" Jacob mumbled.

"How did it break?" I said roaring the engine to start.

"No, don't do that again and again!" he said chilly. "It broke, because of Seth, he once had a _wish _to ride a bike and he _gave my bike_ a shot! And see what happened! He busted it!"

"He didn't do it on purpose." I said looking at Jacob with my red eyes.

"Yeah, you would say like that – because you love him…" Jacob said immaturely.

"Well that is true." I said naughtily.

"Humph." He grunted under his breath. I laughed, he was so jealous!

But Jacob didn't laugh. He turned away from me.

"Hey…" I said and got off the bike and moved towards him placing my hand on his cheeks.

"What is the matter? I was joking…! Though I love Seth, but as my brother. I love you, Jacob… only you…" I said tenderly.

His expressions soften and I kissed him on his lips and he merrily kissed me back. I sat back on the bike and Jacob played with the wires.

"How big is the problem?" I asked impatiently, maybe the idea of fixing the _bike today_ was not so good…

"Hmm, the brakes are all ruined…" he said I heard some buzzing sound of wires.

"Whoa, that's pretty big…" I said.

"Yeah, wait let me bring the tool box…" Jacob said and went to the little corner of the garage, where pounds of junk like spare car parts, big cardboard sheets, old and broken chairs lay piled up till it reached the roof, from where drops of water dripped.

"I have to give it way more time…" Jacob spoke as he shifted the junk to find his toolbox, and as he moved the things the junk trembled from up and down.

"…If only I gave it time, you would be able to ride on it, right now it kinda impossible and –"

SPLASH!

The pile of junk had fallen down and the roof had broken and the rain water was all over Jacob and he was standing still in shock, completely wet till head to toe.

"Jacob!" I said as surprised as Jacob. I ran towards him and his eyes were close, water was still coming and Jake was completely drenched.

"Jacob are you all right? You are all wet! O my god!" I queried.

"Yeah, what will happen to me? I am made of steel, Bella." He said.

I burst in a guffaw and Jacob joined me too. We were both laughing and then suddenly Jacob kissed me. He was so wet! He moved his wet hands on my neck and put my hands over his shoulders. I stopped.

"Let's get you soaked up, Tiger." I said and we walked in the house.

"Go grab yourself a towel and I'll make you coffee." I said and walked in the kitchen.

Jacob didn't argue and went to the cupboard, smirking. I ignored his action.

I opened the coffee box and felt someone putting his hands on my shoulders. His hands were all warm again.

"Jake-?" I whispered.

"Shshshh." He said and moved his warm hands over both my shoulder. His touch was electrifying and maybe I knew what he was doing. His hands were sliding to my arms and had grabbed my wrists. His chin lay on my shoulder and I was completely in Jacob's arms. He turned me around so that he could kiss me. He shoved me on the wall and kissed me. He pressed his body on mine so that his lips were on mine, his chest pressed my chest and his cock, pressed my pussy. Yet, we were separated from the fabrics of our clothes. Maybe he just wanted me to give the sensation of how it would be to have sex with him. Jacob was moving his hands up and down my waist and producing grunting sounds of pleasure.

Now I was ready for whatever happened next, I didn't mind it. I wanted to be one with Jacob in any other way…

It was my move that mattered.

And I made it.

I strongly caught Jacob's hair and started climbing up on him, and kissed him hard, inserted my tongue down his throat. He too tightened his grip. His hands were wrapped around me. I felt so good. I didn't stop climbing up and then Jacob lifted me up in his arms like a baby, but didn't stop the kissing.

All I could sense at time was that Jacob was climbing the stairs with me in his arms. He opened the door of his bedroom with his hands and I was inside his room. Jacob made me stand on the floor and was still kissing me. I didn't need to breath but I didn't know about Jacob.

He locked the door and pulled the curtains. The room was gloomy and Jacob was panting. He moved towards me slowly and I felt my chest contracting and I was becoming nervous with his every step. He put his hands on my waist and cornered me on the wall. He kissed my forehead, and inserted his hands under my buttoned shirt. His warm hands were now very warm, he was not anymore wet but dry as if had a sunbath.

He pressed his lips tenderly on mine and I quickly inserted my tongue inside his mouth. I moved my hands on his shoulders and then- I felt it- Jacobs hand were on my bra. I stopped kissing him, so do he stopped kissing me. He grabbed my wrists and forced them on the wall. My wrists automatically stayed there only even when Jacob let go of them. Jacob smiled and moved his hands on my shirt, he slowly opened the button of my shirt and I nodded at him to give my approval…

Then he unbuttoned my shirt and stared at my naked torso. I was so embarrassed as I was wearing my leopard print bra… he smirked and removed my shirt from my torso. He must be amazed with my marble white vampire skin…

Jacob moved his hot hands over my cold body and seized me up in his hands and made me lie on his enormous bed. The bed was cold maybe not used for many days. I lay there nervously, smiling at Jacob. He was standing at the very end of the bed, staring my body up and down in amazement.

"I have imagined this moment thousand times in my head Bella." He whispered and bent down on the bed and put his hands on my Jeans button. He opened the button and the zip and slowly- seductively- removed my jeans from my legs and threw it on the floor. This is it – I was just in the verge of being completely naked in front of Mr. Black.

After removing my clothing, except for my lingerie, he started undressing himself and he kept smiling at me. I could feel his heart beat violently. He removed his sweat shirt and revealed his well toned, russet torso. He was so handsome, I felt my body giving me chills…His abs shone in sweat… He removed his pants, surprisingly he was wearing his boxers.

Jacob climbed the bed and lay above me. He kissed my neck, my abdomen; he moved his hands on my thigh. He started out safe. I put my hands on Jacob's cheeks and pulled him towards my face; we kissed and kissed and kissed. His tongue adventuring in my mouth. The heat between my legs increasing by every moment passing…

Jacob pressed his body on mine. His lips kissing mine firmly. My hands gripping his back strongly. Jacob was in his full mood, so do I. I wrapped my bare legs around him and Jacob kept making the grunting sounds…then Jacob did it… (Exciting smile)

Jacob's hand reached the straps of my leopard print bra, and removed them from my shoulder to make it strapless. His warm hand then reached under my back and the hook, while he was kissing me. He quickly opened my bra and before I could realize, removed it from my body and threw it on the floor. Jacob was still kissing me so he was unable to see my naked chest- for now-

He was pressing his body hard on mine. He started kissing my neck and his hands touched my cold breasts. He squeezed them and I whimpered in pleasure. He kissed my breasts and- even sucked my right nipple… and I yelled with delight…he kept on circulating his hands on my breasts…I was feeling so apprehensive right now but get pleasure from the whole thing so much…

Jacob kept on kissing my chest for some time, and kept on squeezing them, for some time I thought that he was playing with them… then he did it again- he pressed his Penis in my vagina, I – could feel – it… but we were separated by our respective garments.

Jacob's hand reached my belly button and then the curves of my panty. He slid his hands inside and removed them, with my help (of course!) and threw it on the floor. Now – I was completely naked in front of Jacob. I tried to look what was happening, and to my surprised Jacob had already removed his boxers which lay in the corner of the room. We were two young, people naked, together in a room on a cold day. I observed what was happening. Jacob was kissing my lips and his hands seized my wrists. I could see his dark penis. It was brushing my vagina. Now- his lips were on mine – his chest was on my chest – and his penis was on my vagina we were connected in every way…

"Jacob – OHHHOOOO!" I whined in pleasure.

He had inserted his penis in my pussy and kept moving up and down, it- was wonderful. Not the way Edward made me feel… his penis all, wet giving me orgasm. I was in a trance state and very firmly seized Jake's bicep's in reflex with a grumble of enchantment.

Jacob reached on my chest and I cupped his face in my hands and jerked him swiftly towards my face and French kissed him. I kissed him so hard, that he was surprised that how was I able to do that- I mean – how was I able to jerk a full grown ware wolf towards me… but Jacob needs to know that I am a vampire.

Jacob moved his hands on my thigh. His hands reached my carved bottom. He moved his hands there, trying to feel every part of me… he was pleasuring me so much… he was playing the part so well, he is so good at it… maybe it is my turn to give him something, other than troubles…

I vigorously came over Jacob. He was shocked. _"I am Vampire, Never forget that Jake!" _I said in a hushed tone. I was above Jacob and I had full control. It was my turn.

I instantly started kissing Jacob. He put his hands on back and mine reached his belly button. I grab hold of his penis and I started compressing it. "OHOIHHH!" he made the noises. I pressed the tip of cock with my thumb, and Jacob jumped on the bed as he was unexpected of this, he would never had imagined me to be so fast forward about sex- but I have to give it to him –

I placed my body symmetrically over Jake's so that my vagina touched his cock. I grabbed his cock and inserted it in my vagina. He moaned again and grabbed my shoulders, but it didn't affect me._ "You're strong!"_ he muttered. He said that and tried to pull me down, and as he tried to do that the bed jerked. I was firmly hovering over him and French kissing him. He placed his warm hands on my breasts and squeezed them rather tightly, when I winched. And as I winced and as I lost grip, Jacob jerked and I was below him the next second with a bang. He was grinning uncontrollably. _"I am a werewolf too. Never forget that." _He mocked and I pulled him towards me to kiss…and he again squeezed my breast! _"Jacob!" _

_15 minutes later…_

We were staring up at the ceiling. I was in Jacob's arm – still naked – and lying on the bed probably for breath. Jacob's arm was around me and circling my shoulder. My hand rested on his smooth chest.

"So – how-? How do you feel, to be cold every time?" he asked me softly.

"It is no difference." I said.

"I never it would be so wonderful, you were a _diva_." He said and stroked my hair.

"Aw, I just wished to give you an experience of a life time, that no one had given you in past three years." I said seductively and poked my toe in his shins. He snorted.

"Well… no one gave me any experiences in the past…" he mumbled slowly.

_What? He was a virgin?_

"You _were _a virgin?" I asked and met his merry eyes.

"Yeah, _a virgin for you_." Jacob said coldly.

I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. I removed my toe from his shins and cuddled more into him. His warm hands tightened around me.

"_I am sorry." _I whispered. He didn't say anything.

"Thank you, for doing this, for making love with me." He whispered.

"Don't thank me, I love you. We had to do it any day, after all." I said unbelievingly.

_He loved me so much! _

"You were great, vampire. Lucky your fangs didn't caught me!" he said juvenilely, changing the topic.

"Jacob! Thank god the ware wolves weren't in your head today!" I mocked and kissed his chest. The bed bobbled a little because of all the _movements_ we had done on it. Jacob hands reached my chest and he stroked my breasts. My hands reached his cock and he gave a sudden laugh.

"A diva you are!" he said and we kissed again.

Seriously.

If someone ever wonders what it is like when a vampire and a werewolf have sex? I just want to tell them –

_It's magical. _


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Days with Love**

I just – made – love – with – Jacob Black…

It was so good. I never thought of doing that. Jacob's hands on my body were enchanting…

The weather is cloudy and it is almost sunset. I left from Jacob's house and am going to Charlie's. I was never fond of going to Charlie's, but today I needed to. Every time I went home Carlisle would smell Jacob's essence on my body and today… (smile) he is all over me… (blush)…

So, I would have bath at Jacob's but yet his heady scent would have been on me. My plan is that I would try to skip the chitchat and find an excuse to take a bath and then slide away from there, because Carlisle would reach home at any time. I parked my car and sensed that Charlie was home. DANM. I would have just taken a bath and sneaked away… anyway.

I knocked the door and Charlie opened it.

"Bella-?" he said in bewilderment.

"Hello dad..." I spoke.

"What-? What are you doing here-?" he asked me in bafflement.

"Can't I come here?"

"Wha-? Ya. Yeah! Of-of course! Off course you can darling! Come in." He said and let me in.

The house was same the last time I came here. Was it just two days before yesterday?!

"What? Is the promotion party still going on?" I asked as I found a couple of beer bottles on the couch and some celebration streamers on the wall.

"Not the party Bells, the clean up." He said and sank in the sofa.

"Make yourself comfortable." He added.

I smiled and sighed. I sat on the nearest chair and stared on the walls.

"So, what brings you here?" he asked me.

"Nothing, just wanted to see you." I lied.

"Hmm." He said. Just like me, he too didn't know what to say. He moved his fingers around his jaw and got up.

"I was… going to make coffee, want some?" he said.

"Uh… that would be perfect." I said. I know I can't eat or drink anything, but I had a plane.

Charlie went into the kitchen uncertainly, probably because he didn't remember that I liked coffee. After five minutes he was back with two mugs of coffee. He handed over me my cup and I stared at the beverage. It was paining hot on my cold hands, not like Jacob's body on mine.

"So, heard from Edward?" he asked me.

"Of course." I said. I had heard from him but I usually ignore his calls.

"When are they returning?" he asked me.

"Just 26 days, I suppose." I answered back snootily.

"TV?" he asked and grabbed the remote.

"I shrugged.

He nodded and drank his cup. He switched on the TV and the soccer channel was on. Time was moving solely at Charlie's house. I have to do something to take a bath. I started moving back and forth in my chair and started humming. He took no notice of me as he cheered- "Go! Not that again! Useless jerks..!"

The mug in my hand was moving fiercely, and some coffee spilled out of it. BINGO!

There was a loud crash and I dropped the mug on my pants, of course deliberately. "OH!" I gasped.

"What the-? Are you OK?" Charlie asked me.

"Yeah, the mug slipped from my hand!" I said looking at the broken pieces of glass.

"You are just my old clumsy Bella!" Charlie exclaimed. "Never mind, I'll clean that up, you go wash yourself." He said, and picked up the broom to clean.

"Sorry dad…" I said and went to my room, and entered the bathroom and quickly washed myself to remove Jacob's essence.

The task was done and I went in the drawing to find Charlie in the sofa watching the game as he was done cleaning.

"Uh, I must leave, dad, nice to meet you." I said and he walked me to the main door.

"It was good to see you often, Bells." He said as I sat in my car.

"Yeah, Goodbye Dad." I said and left the place.

I was Half past eight when I reached at the Cullen Mansion. Fortunately Carlisle was not at home. For four days he reached home before me and I didn't even talk to him. The reason I stayed back to go on the vacation was Carlisle and I don't want him to think that where was I half the time…Because he never saw the temptation in me to visit Charlie…

_Every day._

_**Three Weeks Later…**_

It has been 21 times in twenty three days that I had sex with Jacob. It was wonderful like it was _my _drug – _or his_.

I was driving to Jacob's as usual. Today is the last day that I am going to Jacob's house, because tomorrow Edward was returning from his vacation with whole family… today was my last chance to see Jake to the fullest, and I want it to be perfect.

Every day with him is such an adventure! (Not to mention having a secret relationship when you are married and are a mother…!) Every day to be in his companionship is wonderful. The other day we went on the beach and Jacob swung me in his arms and we dived in the ocean together and had sex in the ocean, we also built sand castles and Jacob was good at it. Then some day we went in the forest and climbed on trees to see the view of the town, we had a race in the forest which was fun too. Jacob had repaired his bike and we went riding the new version which was above 'decent' in speed…

Like I said every day there was something new to do, not like being with Edward…

I parked my car and Jacob came howling in an instant. I got out and flew my hands around him. Yes, I was there, where I belonged. I was in my place, in his arms and would be there for the rest of my life….

We hugged each other and he kissed my forehead. We headed inside his house and Billy hasn't returned till now. Even for the last three weeks Charlie seems worried about Billy as he is not in town, Jacob says that he is not in his good health to travel and I don't have a problem with that…

We reached the living room and I kept my car keys on the table and leaned on the dining table.

"So, what do we do today?" I asked enthusiastically.

Jacob didn't answer. He was quite, and his face was blank, no expressions were there, he seemed to look frowning.

"You know you wouldn't be here tomorrow?" he said sulkily.

"Yeah…" I said tentatively.

"Do you think I will be Ok, after what had happened?" he said staring me in the eye. This was the thing I liked about Jake. His maleness, his courage to not to be fearful. To speak what is in his mind. The characteristic that I never had…

"Do you?" he asked in his husky voice again. And I stared back at him. He knew that today was the last day… he was keeping a record. _I love him._

"Jake…" I began and came closer to him, but he cut me off.

"You are not affected that tomorrow you will not see me. You are not affected that how will _I _feel when you _sleep with that bloodsucker_ tomorrow, instead of what has happened _between us_, I think – _you _don't even remember that today you are with me for the last day, Bella!" Jacob said getting away from me.

_I don't sleep, Jake_. I said mentally, but now was not the time to say that… how he can think like that!

"Jacob! H-how can you even?" I said my voice cracking. "How can you think like that? You think that I don't remember that today is the last day? I didn't want to remember that! I wanted the final day to be perfect! Perfect so that we don't feel the pain when we don't meet for the next couples of day!" I said inhumanly. Jacob was looking at me with an expression of little guilt

"I _love you!" _I gasped out. "I love you! Do I have to clear that out every single day?" I asked him and shook his hand. He turned his gaze at the floor.

"Jacob…" I said in a low voice. "…Do you sense that my feeling will change?" I asked and felt his jaw twitch. I was getting better at face reading.

"Do you really sense that? Well, don't. Because I have a man in my life and that in totally you! You! Only you! And no one else. I love you with my soul – though I don't have one…" I said and Jacob chuckled.

"Jacob you don't have to worry about what happens tomorrow, because – because even tomorrow you will be in my heart in my mind… my emotions for you today will be the same tomorrow because I am in my senses. I love you and only you…" I said and held his hand. He squeezed it and kissed my hands and I hugged me. I tightly tied my hands around his torso and feeling to never let go…

"I am sorry, Bella. I know - -I know I am a douche bag and I should not doubt you… but I am restless, I am – I am not sure that what will happen tomorrow but – as you said, _today_ is what we have to make _perfect_…" Jacob said that and moved his face towards mine, his hair brushed my forehead and his nose brushed mine and his lips hit upon mine and he kissed me…

I kissed him back like I will never be able to do that, like I have my final chance to be with him. Jacob inserted his hands in my hair and mine reached under his shirt, I could feel his heart beat as I moved my hand over his chest. Jacob's hand reached my ass and he held me up from there and I was in his arms.

"This is early for bed, Mr. Black." I mocked him and licked his neck.

"Good things should be served first Bella…" he said and climbed the stairs. He opened his bedroom door and I climbed out of his arms and landed on the floor locking the door and he pulled out the curtains. I gave him a mischievous look. I was not anymore _shy_ about having sex with him like the first time. I was _very valiant_ this time and he came closer to me, but I backed off.

"Hmmm_, no – no – no… what is the hurry? We have to make it special, don't we_?" I hummed and moved around the room like a stripper – an idea struck me.

I removed his shirt and pants and left him naked lying on the bed. He was very confused but enjoying what was happening.

"What about _your fabrics, Swan?" _Jacob snorted seductively and pulled me towards him.

"…_Hmm… it is so bad_…" I said and kissed his forehead_. "… I t has been so many days and –_ _you…"_ I said licked his ears and pressed my lips on his chin_. " … You don't even know my name, Mr. Black, Hmm… I feel like a prostitute…"_ I said and licked his neck again. He chucked and grabbed my hands to pull me towards him but I got away and kissed his cheeks.

"_Easy tiger or wolf… easy – easy…Hmm…" _I said and got up from the bed…

"What are you up to?" Jacob asked at last. "You seem drunk…"

Maybe I was, or maybe this was what I wanted to do. To behave my silliest, to behave my foolish, maybe this was needed to make it special…maybe this special effect…

"_Mr. Black, prepare for a show…"_ I hummed and moved towards his bathroom door and stood there posing.

"Whoa…" he said dreamily. I sniffed.

I removed my jacket very slowly and licked my own lip, in doing that. Jacob seemed red faced. Maybe this was his first stripper show… I removed my Shirt and jeans and threw them across the room and they landed on the floor. Jacob was naughtily looking at my body with just my lingerie on and a desperate look in his eyes.

"Ohhhh….. Come here, will ya?" he said wickedly.

I ignored and chuckled. I moved my hips in a rotating motion trying to imitate those hookers I have seen till now. I moved my hands on my own body and tried to seduce him, try to bend and let him see my bosom.

"Bella! Come here!" he said dreadfully.

"_SSHSHSHSHSHHSHhhhshshshshshs ss!"_ I shushed him out.

Jacob's hand reached at his drawer and he picked up his phone and held it high, trying to focus me in.

"_What… are … you…doing?"_ I asked gracefully still posturing.

"Having the last glimpse of you – you know? I have to live without seeing you for _the couples_ of _days so_…. Pose for _me Isabella_." He said and starts clicking my photos. I felt greatly passionate. I opened my braw and posed leaning against the wall, leaving my chest barren so that he could click a photo of me as a memory… I seductively remove my panty and threw it on his, he smiled. I inserted my hands in my hairs and hang out my tongue, giving him poses and he must have clicked five images from now…

"You are a dirty diva…" he said and sent me a flying kiss.

"_Mr. Black what you are doing is socially bad…Hmmm." _I said and gave him my side profile.

"We are not the part of the society..." he joked and I posed my greatest pose. I stood at the door naked and he whistled at me and I slowly walked towards him.

I walked toward him and grabbed his phone and clicked his naked photo. He was so graceful, his hand pulled me towards himself and I jerked toward him and fell on the bed beside him. The bed shuddered violently because of _the previously caused damage_…. But we ignored it. Jacobs hand was around me and I held the phone sigh so that we both could come in focus.

"Smile…" I said and he kissed me instead. Several buttons got pressed on the phone and several _'click'_ sounds came and suddenly the phone got out of my hand and fell on the floor gently. Jacob didn't notice it and clutched my hand. I came over him and inserted my tongue inside his moth. Our tongues battling inside his mouth, while his hand on my back pressing me down and my hand seizing his cock, rotating and pressing it with my thumb.

"_OHhHhoohohohhhhhooooooohoooo hhooo! _I know you are a vampire! Easy! Easy Bells!" his voice faded as he came over me and I chuckled. This was my favorite part.

Jacob's hand was on my abdomen and his tongue licking my belly button and the regions near. I clutched his hairs and roared. This sensation was too much for me to take but he tittered and gave me more. His hands polished my thighs and he licked my neck with fleeting kisses. He came over and his hands found my chest. His hands gripped my breast and he kissed them I moaned in pleasure and pulled his face over mine and smooched him.

He went away and kissed my breasts, he liked playing with them. My hands were on his neck and he was licking my chest. He started sucking my nipples and I moaned more loudly. My hands reached at his penis and I squeezed it and he again moaned in that tone. I wrapped my legs around him and he jerked. He held his cock and inserted in my vagina, I jumped and the bed wobbled but I gave him a kiss and he kept moving up and down. His hands dancing on my body…

My hands were on his back now, pulling him towards me and he was violently and shaking kissing me, jerking his head here and there and pressing his lips harder than ever on mine. He was aware too that this was the last day indeed… his cock was all in my pussy and wet. His heart beating fast and in no atmosphere of letting go we continue to kiss each other…

"_Ouch! Wolf! Don't hurt them!"_

I shouted and Jacob giggling let go of my breast.

_30 Minutes Later…_

"You! You are a magnificent beast!" I said and kissed his hands.

"And you the carved diva thank you for the beautiful time…" he said and kissed my forehead.

We were still lying on the bed and talking. Jacob was inhaling more than exhaling. My hands on his chest and could feel his heart pumping blood.

"I always said I'll wait for you…" he said suddenly."…Even if you are with him – _human – or Vampire…_ I said that…and I am glad that I said that…"

"I love you." I said and his hands which were around my shoulder squeezed me.

"You are a powerful vampire." Jacob said.

"I am new born, the youngest of all of them…" I said animatedly.

"What we will do?" Jacob said a certain hesitation in his voice. "He never let you leave the house… never…"

"He thinks I can't be around humans, though I have never attacked anyone till now…" I said.

"…I just – just wish that I could go back in time and change it – but – I can't. I wish I could be human again… _I wish I could feel the sun, fell asleep, feel hunger… feel them all again_…. I…" but I halted. I was speaking rubbish I can never get that…

"Being human – even I can't tell you about that briefly, because I spend time with my paws…" he said and I laughed.

"Just wished everything could be _same, like three years ago… me being human_, riding bikes _with you… being happy…I was a fool, a _complete_ fool…"_ I said and choked away.

"Bella, don't. You are not a fool. You are smart, beautiful and good…" Jacob said but he knew that he was not good at motivational speeches…

"No, don't tell me…" I said and wiped my eyes.

He got and got dressed. I did the same. He sat on the study and took out a pile of papers.

"See, I have been doing research on you lot. And I have been successful; these papers tell how humans can be converted into vampires and maybe – _a possibility in these _papers of vice – versa." Jacob said and I got the hint.

"So – y-you are saying that, we can _change back? We can again be humans_?" I said hazily.

"Yes but it is _complex._ The thing is that Vampires love to _live in secret_…" my jaw twitched. "…And they don't like to reveal their processes and about what we werewolves about them know – about how they change is because we have witnessed some encounters, we have seen how they change humans into vampire…" Jacob paused and threw the paper at me. The writing was very difficult to read but my eyes are sharp…

…_Vampires are very secret beings. They love to live a quit life and cut all the connections from the real world. Though after the Civil War the Vampires have been moving out and doing daily human activities like taking up some professions, going to school or even hunting. Many clans had increased till the last century and the number is still increasing. Though the vampire law committee is secretly furious about the leakage of their processes of changing humans into vampires, therefore – now they are careful about all others processes about changing the vampire body. The Volturi do not let the vampire population know that but there are high protections in their edifice to hide their other secrets which till now we consider myth. As though till now the human changes are rare but some new clans have been established with new members and attacks are increasing day by day…and the danger is on greater than ever…_

"Jacob… what-? What secrets are there in the Volturi? And why anyone does not know about it?" I asked him as I was astonished after reading the parchment.

"I don't know Bella. That is exactly what I have been trying to find… these accounts are giving me a indication, though." He said and took out a bundle of familiar writing.

"Who wrote them?" I asked him.

"My great – great – great – grandfather. Billius Arthur Black." He said and I looked at the man signature.

_Billius Arthur Black_

"How did he know, what is it? The Volturi been hiding something, that is obvious – but…"

"What?" Jacob said cutting me in. "Yeah, I figured that out, my Billius grand was the most successful leader of the pack, the wittiest of all. He wrote this account as he too wanted to know the secret but the Volturi has been strict and he died craving to know and writing these articles on vampires…and he wrote that he as soon as the rumors were out he set for finding it…"

"So how did you find these?" I asked pointing at the parchments.

"In dad's room, it was in his cupboard in a box – very carefully kept and I read them and thought that I could get something useful."

"You – you are telling me _this_ now?" I asked.

"I found them yesterday, only Bella!" Jacob said arranging the parchment.

"…You are right that these parchments have the hints… '_Committee is secretly furious about the leakage of their processes of changing humans into vampires, therefore – now they are careful about all others processes about changing the vampire body.' _– Jacob – this has to mean something, really this is a clue, there is something in the Volturi and they are hiding it – if – only these accounts are true…" I said instantaneously.

"Hmm, Bella if – these are true – the question is…." Jacob said gravely. "…If there is a way of changing vampires back into human –" Jacob said searching my face for response. "…_Will you change_?" Jacob asked me looking directly in my eye.

I was quite speechless, I want to change – what about the Cullen's?

"_Yes." _I said firmly. Jacob nodded.

"Bella, now I will do research on these papers and try to find something more – in Billy's room – maybe I will succeed and you can get your soul back…and…" Jacob paused because my lips stopped him from talking. I hold his hair and he grabbed my waist. This man – he loves me so much. Trying to give me what I want and is ready to do anything –

"I love you…" I said sluggishly.

"C'mon Bella! That's almost fifth time you said that and you know the coincidence?" Jacob said stroking my hairs.

"I love you too…"

He said that we kissed again.

Till now, I haven't told Jacob that how worried I was about _them _returning…

_Did you all like the chapter? Review and tell me!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: The return….**

My last and the most unforgetfull meeting with Jacob had left several answer in me unanswered… right now I just can't stop thinking about those drafts… the Volturi possesses the secrets, the way to get me back my normal life – _my soul – my Jake… forever…_The Volturi can hide some things; it can't be a lie – can it? There has been always a tremendous amount of security and they are never fond of leaving the place more often… but are those secrets are of any use for me? That could be only figured out when I know those mysteries…

"They are back!" Carlisle cried with bliss and I came out of my thoughts.

He was right, the Cullen's were really back, I could smell them – but – I didn't want them to be back… I wanted them to stay in that island forever… (Sigh)…

I climbed down the stone steps and watched cars emerging from far and they halted right in front of us.

"MUM!" Renesmee whimpered and came running towards me. She had grown very much and reached my chin. Her beautiful hair gliding as she moved and her _– my –_ appealing chocolate brown eyes fixed upon me.

"It's good to be back…" she said and hugged me.

"Sweetheart you enjoyed?" I asked tenderly.

But before she could nod Alice threw herself on me.

"Bella! Ooh! We had so much fun! I can't wait to tell you _everything_… if _you know_ what I mean…" she laughed and on the sly pointed towards Rosalie and Emmet who were taking out there luggage. Emmet snorted. Renesmee went and hugged Carlisle and eyed Alice suspiciously ("And you won't tell me!" she said sarcastically.).

"Bella it is wonderful to see you, expect you were Ok?" Esme asked and I nodded and then she went to meet Carlisle who kissed her and took her inside the house.

"Hello, Bella." Jasper and Emmet chorused.

"How are you two?" I asked enthusiastically.

"Amazing – but…" Emmet said and said in a whisper. "Ed didn't seem to enjoy it, you know – _in the nights_…"

"_Emmet!_ I've told you, nothing about my sex life – _Je_rk!" I said in low voice and Emmet snorted again and took Rosalie in her arms and went inside. Rosalie who looked at me just gave a stiff nod and went inside and Jasper was left with me.

"I think I _should also go –_ uh…inside…. He must be wanting – a_ moment_…" he said uncomfortably and went inside.

At first I was bemused but then I got it when he went inside and Edward Cullen emerged from the car _– probably waiting for this moment only._

"_Edward_…"

I said when I saw a white, carved piece of vampire body emerging from the car. He was perfect- every little feature worked out in detail. His facial features being just precise and angular—high cheekbones, strong jaw line, a straight nose, and full lips. His hair, which are always messy, retains the unusual bronze shade that he inherited in his human life from his biological mother gliding more furiously than Renesmee's. His eyes, once green, are _now_ topaz were glittering. He was after all _faultless_…

His slender but muscular body moved towards me and his powerful hand grabbed me.

"_Bella- I_-" he said softly.

"Sshh." I said and pressed my finger on his lips.

"I love you, that is what you wanted to say? Well…" I said very reluctantly.

He smiled.

I stood on my toes to reach his mouth and I kissed him. His one hand went in my hairs and one remained on my waist. My both hands got locked up on his shoulders and I kissed him like a maniac. It was like two souls – that are made for each other meet after a century or retardation but the intimacy with which Edward was kissing me was more than anything. His lips moved on mine like knife on butter… he pressed them harder but softer. I tried to produce the same effect. Edward seemed not to leave my lips – though we could have done that, because our kinds so not need to breathe, but he didn't seem to leave. His ice cold hand moved on my waist, reaching my back and shoulders. After some more time he affectionately parted from me and stared me in my eyes with the world's greatest passion.

"I love you…" he croaked and I gave a smile.

"Don't ever let me away from you…" he said and kissed my forehead and I hugged him.

Then suddenly someone coughed and it was Renesmee, Edward released me from his grip and we separated... Renesmee came running and grabbed my hand.

"Mum, come inside." She said boorishly and we came inside.

The house was again full of life, even though there wasn't a single soul present. Everyone was sitting on the couch on which a month ago I realized my feeling for Jake_…. My Jacob_…

Edward's shoulder brushed me and he gave me his crooked smile. I smiled feebly in return and he held my hand. Esme and Carlisle seemed to ignore us, so that we don't feel uncomfortable. Alice, jasper, Emmet and Rosalie sniggered. I gave them all a fierce look and they turned there gaze away. The following day nothing happened but Edward kept bumping in me and kept smiling. His hands would slide from my shoulders to my back and then up again. All the Cullen's were busy talking and kept on telling about their vacation.

"The ocean, the beach, the house! Everything was perfect! A delight!" Alice said in her explanation.

"Look mum, what I bought for you." Renesmee said, at half past midnight and handed me a box.

I opened the box and it was full of moist sand.

"Sand-?" I asked.

"You couldn't visit so I thought what to give you that will remind you of the island and then I found that box and filled it with sand and here it is! The island in your hand! I hope –"

She couldn't complete her sentence as I hugged her and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you sweetie… it means…a lot." I said and hugged her again. Everyone was watching us with admiration.

"Oh, Renesmee, darling you are so thoughtful." Esme said.

"It, is absolutely is… she… Renesmee you – you are wonderful…" I said.

Renesmee reddened and went to sit with Esme.

"I'll go and keep it in my room." I said, but no one seemed to pay attention as they were all busy asking Renesmee how did she get the idea.

I reached my room and placed the box on the mantelpiece, staring at it for some time. My daughter, she loves me so much. Though I know that she has a century to live, but as an adult or an old lady, she is already almost fifteen by now…her intelligence, just like her beauty is magnificent…there were so many feelings in this box, which I seemed to not to undertand… I opened the box and touched the moist and. It crumpled under my fingers and I sighed. I closed the box and sighed again. I looked out at the sky and it was dark, only a crescent light visible and it was our moon, alone in the big and dark sky, smiling at me and reminding me of the person I love. I reached my phone and called Jacob.

"Hello? Bella? Is that you? Of course it is you – but –" Jacob said and hushed.

"Bella-? Is everything ok?" he said seriously.

"Jake –" I said and broke off.

"Bella-? What happened?" he said tenderly.

"They are back, that's what happened." I whispered.

"Well, one day they had to return, didn't they?" he said after a pause.

"But – but, I wanted to be with you, wanted to be in your arms, where I belong, where I feel right Jacob, not – not here, with – with _them._"

"Bella – then…" he gasped. "Then – come to me."

"_I can't_. Everyone is here. Alice, Renesmee, Rose, Jazz, Emmet, Esme and – and – _Edward._" I said and shrugged.

"Should I come and take you?" Jacob suggested.

"Don't be ridiculous…your plans never work Jake, and _this_ plan! _Such a great plan Jake!_" I said in the nastiest sarcasm.

"What -? It didn't work?"

"Worked? _It is splendid!_ And I did whatever you told me to do… I _kissed him_ Jake, and _he_ _kissed_ me back, _he _didn't even asked for that kiss but you had said –" I whispered and he grunted.

"But Bella, you only think, if you hadn't showed any interest – or any delight that he was back… then he would be suspicious won't he? And then would probably try to find out what's wrong…" Jacob said gravely.

"But, Jacob if I really carried this on, he would probably make love to me till morning! Do you want that? _I don't! _So I am shutting this stupid plan of yours…" I said willingly.

"No! Don't do that! Bella, we have to work this out, we are together, remember? You have to do this."

"You are saying like it is a piece of cake! Like it a child's play! You are telling me to have sex with him, SEX, JACOB! How will you feel to go and sex with someone you have no emotions left for? Should I ask you to have sex with someone whose is a complete stranger to you?"

"Bella… I know…" Jacob began.

"No, you don't.!" I snapped at him.

"It is not what you are thinking…"

"No it is exactly that, Jake, it is the exactly of what I am thinking!"

"Bella! _Calm down and listen to me!"_ He yelled firmly and I became silent.

"Do you think that I will be ok – to think that tonight, probably an hour later you will be in bed – naked with _the person I hate_? You think I can be ok? I CANNOT! NEVER! But – Bella it is not what you think – or what I think – but it is what he thinks, like I had said, to him it should appear as you are in still love with him, and it can be proved if you made love to him, or else he will be bloddy doubtful and I am sure would seek help from Alice and I am sure you won't want that… so Bella – I know it is tough – for you, but for me… for us… do it, DO it… and give him a splendid night just like you gave me… and shut him down for a while…"

"Jacob…" I said.

"Bella- _trust m_e."

"Are you sure?"

And as soon as I asked him, the door creaked open and Edward came inside already opening his shirt buttons…

"Bella…" he said in his seductive tone and locked the door. "Renesmee is with the family and I am sure they would not disturb us…" Edward said and leaned on the wall.

The phone was still on my ear and I am sure that Jacob had heard it all.

"- I love you-" he said grudgingly and hung up the phone. There was a certain amount of pain in his voice. _That pain which I can also feel, the pain which was causing my eyes to burn with tears, and the pain which might save my little secret to leak out…_

My back was still on Edward who was waiting for me.

_Why?_

_Why life has to be so strange for me?_

_Did anyone in this world can answer it? Can help me?_

_Do I have a choice left? Do I have a chance to skip this night and be with Jacob Forever?_

_But, before anyone can answer my questions I kept my phone above the box that Renesmee had gifted me and felt that Edward was already behind me… ready for a splendid night which – now – only belong to Jacob…_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter- 9: The Difficult Compromise**

"This is a very nice dress, you're wearing…" Edward whispered in my ear.

"Oh- yeah, just wore so that Alice would not set my teeth on edge…" I said still having my back on Edward. I looked down at my blue knee length silk dress and felt Edwards's hand grabbing my wrists and his prominent chin resting on my shoulder.

"Never mind her, she just want you to look attractive, not that you need to look more attractive…" he said in a hushed voice.

My stomach was giving me the most horrible summersault. Like I was burying myself in the most horrible betrayal… huh… I can't even call it a – betrayal of love… not even breaking trust, but doing something which would save it – protect it – strengthen it…

Edward ran his hand on my hand very smoothly and grabbed my waist. My insides gave a repulsive loathe, but the moon again reminded me why – why I was going to do it… why I have to do it – for my love, for Jacob… I felt like running away from there… like hiding on a countryside with Jacob and never seeing the Cullen's… but before that wish could be fulfilled, I have to accomplish something else… something, which I am not strong enough to do…. Something that even after being a vampire makes my heart contract, making it almost difficult for me to stay awake. I would prefer dying than feeling like this – but – yet again I can't… at least for Jacob, otherwise our love will lose. It will be defeated by a mere stranger to me and his so called family… I have to live, I have to survive, and I can't be selfish – I can not – always – get what I want… not always…

Sometimes you have to lose if you crave to gain. In my case, I have to confer a lot in return of what I have gained… truth is always harsh – I always discerned it…

Edward hands finally let go off my body and he went away. I stood there without a noise, waiting for something to happen, _waiting for my trust to be strengthened…_

_NO! I can't! I cannot do this! No one can touch me except Jacob! NO!_

But again… our love will be defeated... I don't want that… I have to do this… in the most reluctant way… yes, I am aware of that…

Edward was humming to himself, aware that I was going to be his… after so long… he switched off the lights and lit a dozen candles, so quick that his hands were again on my shoulders and his lips kissing my neck… his lips tickled my neck and I protest but…

_I can't._

Edward removed the strands of hair from my neck and kissed more violently on my neck and pressed his hands on my abdomen. My back was still on Edward and I closed my eyes, trying not to feel the pain of his passion, the pain which was almost zeal for Edward but it didn't work… it never worked…

Edward shoved me on the wall, and I laid my hands on the wall, letting him do whatever he wanted. My eyes still closed, blazing with tears, but I controlled – I had to….

Edward hands travelled on my whole body and his lips still on my neck, sniffing my whole scent… his hand unhurriedly reached at the peak of my dress and he opened the zipper. He slowly unfastened it, and touched my nude back with his cold hands. I tried not to hop at his feel, not to fright what was coming next. He just moaned with delight and at the appearance of my body.

His lips kissed every inch of my back. In his craze and excitement he grunted and pressed me more on the wall… my eyes ready to leak with tears, but I had made the barrier, I wiped my eyes and Edward's hands reached my shoulder and he made the dress and my garments to slide off my body. The pain increased and I wanted to cry, wanted to shriek, wanted to jump off the room through the window and run to La Push, but _I can't…_

Edward turned me slowly to face him. I twisted with my eyes still closed and forced my lips to make a U on my face, _it was difficult_, forced my eyes to stop draining, _and it was difficult_. I opened my eyes and stare at once in Edwards topaz eyes, which were happy to see what they were seeing… his face glooming with the orange light emitted from the candles he had lit…he removed strands of hair from my face and kissed my lips energetically. Tasted every bit of it and let go. His hand pushed me on the wall and the other reached my abdomen. My whole body quivering, with – I don't know – maybe because it didn't wanted to be there where it was – maybe it didn't wanted to be touched that way or by him – maybe it was missing something…

Edward smiled and lifted me in his arms. My naked body so strongly lay in his arms – but yet – I felt so fragile.

Edward crossed the room and made me stay at the bed. He drew the curtains on the windows and removed his clothing's…

I lay on the bed, waiting for him. Waiting for that moment to come which would devastate me. I don't know what Jacob must be feeling at this time… he would probably be up and waiting for dawn to break, or expecting his cell phone to ring, but he won't hear good news… I forced my face to smile to reflect joy which I was not feeling… _it was difficult…_

Edward touched my feet and climbed on the bed and hovered above me. I closed my eyes and pretended that I was happy, though I was not – _it was difficult_. Edward kissed my lips. His hands griped my waist. I extended my hands on his shoulders, the least I could do tonight. He kissed, licked, touched, felt, smelled, tickled, pressed every part of my body – did every desire and things with me, lifted me in his arms and implored for more but yet his eyes still have the hungry look, and they told me he wanted more…

Edward grabbed my hand and put it on his penis while his mouth was over mine. He firmed his grip on my legs, his lips digging in my mouth, his penis twisting in my hand… his body touching mine, his tongue in my mouth, he laying naked over me, he having sex with me, he – Edward Cullen my husband… doing things, which I want only Jacob to do…

_Sometimes, there are things which you love to do, but never want to do them with some people… whatever was happening is one of them. _

_I want to die, kill myself. End this, or else my insides would kill them. This is more painful than becoming a vampire, this sting and agony is greater than becoming a vampire. The fire is more huge than it was that time…_

_My whole life – it seems a kind of a joke to me, a dark joke which seem to never end… and Edward was a big part of it, but – I want this joke to end, this joke to kill itself… Love is made with a love, Edward is not a love… my heart is burning, aching… pleading for him to stop … begging to him to let me go… screaming out Jacob's name… but no one seems to hear, I want to cry, I want to scream, moan, run… if that was possible… ! Why is this happening…? This seems to end never… why? Why, these things have to happen to me… I am not ready, I will never be…. How can you love someone you hate, when you have an amazing person like Jacob in your life…? I can't do this… but it is late, there is nothing left that could help me… I could only wait, wait for Edward to stop, for dawn to break, for someone to hear my heart… my heart which do not exist, which is not alive…how will someone hear it? How…? _

**JACOB'S POV**

_Bella._

The name, the image, seems not to leave my mind.

_How can it? Why should it? I love her, goddanmmit! _

I have no idea, what she would be doing right now, though – a small part in my mind knows. Edward must be up right now, it is just three in the morning… he must be widely awake and Bella must be too. She must be in pain… must be hating me for telling her to do this.

She is not doing anything wrong, by hating me right now, it was after all _I _who told her to do that… to intercourse with that bloodsucker…

But what could I do? I cannot control Edward's thought, or change them. He must be expecting, Bella to have sex with him… he knew that she left her human life for him, so having sex is no big deal… but what he do not know is that, Bella do not love him _– she loves me_…

Bella…

The name only formed pictures of her in my mind…

_The images when she laughed at my jokes, when she removed her hair from her face, when she bit her lip when she concentrate enough, or the image of her seducing me…. Beaming at the sight of me… her eyes – though not the chocolate brown… but still beautiful… her cold body, her gorgeous marble white vampire skin which felt like fire on mine… the fire which I enjoyed, which I crave… the fire that maybe Edward would be enjoying…_

Edward…

The images changed, they transformed in my head from smiling Bella to a Bella who looked reluctant, loathed…scared…

_Lying naked on a bed with Edward perching over her, pressing his lips on my Bella… and My Bella – who wanted to do so many opposite things – who wanted to run – couldn't do anything… nothing… not a damn thing – but – to wait and let Edward finish his deeds, wait and complete the task given by me… Edward inserted his hands in her sweet smelling hair and kissed her neck; her chest… got connected to her by every means… Bella tried to slow him down, push him, stop him… but he didn't stop – Bella's mere responses didn't stopped him… he flattened himself upon her, the hungry looks on his eyes, coveted more… whereas Bella's were closed… and dripping tears…_

_AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! _

What have done?

When I am not able to imagine what would be happening, than what about Bella?

I banged my fist on the window, that the window pane broke and glass shattered on the floor, and making blood ooze from my fingers… I don't care about blood… let it flow… let me die… what is the harm… what I have to lose?

_CRACK_

It was like someone punched me in my guts.

_What I have to lose?_

Am I insane?

_My Bella! _

I am such a big coward… letting myself die and leave Bella? Leave her alone? Let her try and compromise for nothing? Let her bare the pain for nothing?

I cannot do this. I just can't… I have to be strong… just as Bella… so that when she will be broken I could hold her… we will be each other's support… each other's reason to try and survive… each other's love, comfort, family – everything… we will live for each other. Our love and sacrifices cannot go waste like this…

My wound healed as I looked at it. My fingers good as new, didn't pain again… I wish Bella could do the same thing… but that pain or wound cannot heal… they never do…

I looked up at the sky, dark as if the night has just begun… I wish dawn would break soon… but then also… what can happen…. Night will arrive again…

_AGHHHHHHHHH! _

_STOP! _I told my mind.

_I can't! I love her! _

I know, but there is nothing _you _could do!

_Maybe, I could go to the Cullen Manson, and stop him._

Don't be insane.

_But I have to do something._

You can't.

_Don't you love her? Has she is the one who have to feel the pain? Take the entire burden? Huh?!_

Don't you remember, she made me swear on her life – that I will not visit Cullen's at night! Don't you remember?

_I do. But you can always break things…_

You are insane. She would hate me and prefer dying… do you want that?

_Then stop sulking!_

I am not sulking! You stop talking!

_Whatever…_

Maybe I was right, I should go there… I could just get a glimpse of what is happening – but – Bella had made me swear on her life… I can't go in there… maybe this pain was a part of our little compromise, tonight…

My eyes blurred as water got tranquil in them… Yeah, right. _Jacob Black, the wolf… yeah_ – he is crying… yeah he is… but he is not mortified of it… no, I am not. I just wish that Bella is alright. It is the least I could do. I could just stand at my room's window and wait for my phone to ring – but I am sure – I will not hear good news…

**Bella's POV**

"You were wonderful like always…. Though you seemed quiet tonight…" Edward gasped.

We lay on our bed, staring at the ceiling. His hand was moving in my hairs and my kept vilely on his chest. The room quite dark as the candles had blown out, but the sun rays creped in our rooms, peeking through the drapes… the clock showed it was five o'clock in the morning…

"Is everything alright…?" he asked me and held my chin.

"Yes…" I whispered, probably the first word, since night. "You can be pretty exhausting sometimes…" I added and he smirked.

"My bad." He said and kissed my lips. I felt the severe pain running down my body. I've had enough; I can't do this anymore… Edward pulled me towards him so suddenly and forcefully that I landed above him. He knew what I generally do when I am above him, but I didn't do anything. I just stood crouched over him, looking down at him uncertainly. His hands were pressing my back towards him, but it didn't pulled me down… his hands at last slide down and sat up on the bed.

We both sat on the bed, still naked and stared into each other's eyes. The room was slowly gaining light, but it didn't affect us.

"Are you Ok, Bella?" he asked.

"Uh huh." I said, and he put his hands on my cheek.

"You don't seem Ok." He said and held my hand.

"It is nothing like that… I am… just tired… I just…" I said but he cut me out.

"- _need a break_?" he said in a nasty tone.

"Uh, What?" I said gawking at him.

He let go of my hand and lay back on the bed and then again got up, looking confused.

"What is it, with you?"

"Don't know what you are talking about." I alleged.

"When I went on the vacation, one month ago, then also you seemed – I don't know – _disturbed _and, you said you needed – _a break_…" he said and I listened to him, though I knew what he meant. "And at that time I thought, maybe you really necessitate a break –_ alone time_, so I went without you, but now when I am back – you don't seem happy, even Alice noticed that… so you need to tell me the truth…" he finished and ran his hand in his messy hair.

"It is not like that…" I began but he cut me in.

"No, I don't know Bella – but – you don't seem like old times… I don't know what's wrong…" he said and shook his head.

"Is _sex the only way to show affection_?" I squealed.

He glared at me and then softened his gaze.

"Three years before, at the time of our honeymoon, you forced – begged – to have sex - at that time – everything seemed alright –" Edward said with a hint of sarcasm.

I had no response for this statement.

"I can sense something's wrong, and if there is you can tell me, no need to create tensions between us…" Edward said politely.

_Tensions. _Jacob was right in this case. He would feel like that.

"There is nothing like that, I don't think there is. Maybe you should not think about this so often and why is Alice too worried about our sex life, if I may ask?" I said pompously.

"She is not worried, but she has visions…" Edward said.

"What kind of visions?" I asked suspiciously.

Jacob was again right. Edward was taking aid from Alice. No, I cannot let my secret slip into Alice's mind… no.

"Just normal. You being sad confused – feeling – not whole…" Edward said staring at me, his hands tied up with mine.

This vision was an old one… maybe the one, when I was trying to work out my feelings for Jacob. Maybe it was then when Alice saw a vision about me…being confused and unfocused…but nothing can stop her from another one – _unless_…

"I am sorry, if you feel this way, that I am _not – interested – or like, something_ is wrong with me… maybe the space between us shaped a gap… but not anymore…" I said and bent towards Edward and placed my lips on his…

Edward gasped and stopped. "Don't think, I am forcing you to do this…" he said silently.

_It won't make any difference_. I said mentally and continued kissing him, and again my insides burnt…

And fifteen minutes later we were embracing each other on our bed, making all sorts of noises and doing all sorts of things… Edward seemed pleased. Why wouldn't he? He was getting it after all… Edward never get tired of playing with my body… he again started – but this time, I was with him. I kept aside all my emotions – kept aside all the memories of Jacob – kept aside every feeling for him and gave Edward my best… he seemed satisfied, by the noises he made…

And two hours later we lay cuddled up on the bed, which shook even if I moved my hand an inch. Edward hands lay on my body, trying to get more. My hands around his shoulders, and my face facing his smooth chest… and maybe Edward in his zeal…

Didn't noticed – even – after being a vampire that I was sobbing…

Tears were trickling down my cheeks as I watched the room blaze more and more as the dawn had finally broke…

Did you like it? I know it was a late update... : P


	10. Chapter 10

_Really sorry for such a late update! It was not even late, but an ultimate late for anyone who is publishing a story on a website. But please forgive me._

_I know maybe some of my few readers would have even forgotten about my story but I am sorry to those who waited for it; or, had even thought about it…But here is the new chapter! Hope you like it, I found it a bit interesting… _

_And please don't forget to tell me how it was… : p_

_Happy reading!_

_XXX_

**Chapter 10: Chiseling the Talent. **

The precipitation fell in the form of powdered snow. This December was colder and rigid than ever, but, what other kind of weather can you expect in Forks?

It has been three months since Edward returned from the trip and three months since Jacob and I haven't met… we have several times tried talking on the phone, but it was a big risk, considering there were six other attentive and alert vamps in the house. I couldn't take the risk, so by and by; there was no contact with Jacob at all.

The Cullen Manson was back to normal from the next day of the return of the family. Everyone did their jobs like they used to do and did many things in these three months.

Carlisle went to the hospital and Rosalie and Alice dressed up Renesmee in various attires – from dressing her like Cleopatra to dressing her up like Hannah Montana. Renesmee never seemed to mind at all; instead she looked as if she enjoyed it, the grooming and awes she was getting from both the adult vamps flattered her and she took participation in the activity enthusiastically.

Jasper on the other hand had given a casual whip to video games. All day and all night, he was accompanied with his Nintendo GameCube and Xbox 360. Whenever Alice tried to have some 'alone time' with him on some particularly cold and wet nights, suitable for having a cuddle by the fireplace, he refused and before he barely let Alice verbalize something, he turned his attention to the Gears of War 3 on the screen. Alice would stare at him with disbelief, but it had no affect on Jasper. Slowly and slowly Jasper's Video Game collection broadened as the shelf was increased when _Need for Speed: Underground, Mortal Kombat II, Final Fantasy XII, Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories, Luigi's Mansion_ and many more games made his shelf, which had gradually became his prized possession.

Emmet on the other hand had something more important and serious on his mind. The topic on his mind was so grave that at first no one believed him but they gradually processed the issue and let Emmet further enlighten it.

Emmett has attended several high schools and colleges, but never earned any particular degree, preferring instead to move quickly from one subject that interests him to the next. This time a Master's Degree in Humanity interested him so strongly that he had even labeled out plans, as we listened to his plane one October afternoon. He told that he had decided to take up a 1 Master's Degree program in humanities from the University of Washington in Bothell.

At first everyone, including me was against his interest. Carlisle said that Bothell was a little far and not appropriate for him if viewed from the point in which Emmet is a vampire. Emmet calmed everyone down and explained that he had all that suited out for his Vampire body. It was usually sunny in Bothell, but Emmet would be joining the one program in November and will be backing home till February. So all in all he will be attending the college in winters and will be back before the sunny summer days. And for his thirst for blood, he had that sorted out. Near the University lays the mature coniferous North Creek Forest, which supports some species of animals and Emmet was sure that he could go there for his hunt for at least three times in three months. Everyone was a little daunted with his planning and desperation to study Humanities. Everyone slowly but surely approved but Rosalie remained condemned. She was on edge that Emmet was going alone to a University and may lose his endurance, so as to, not drink blood for three months, and do something unexpected. She was skeptical and everyone didn't disapprove of her apprehension.

Some days passed, and one evening she affirmed that she valued and comprehend that Emmet's interest in Humanity was significant to him. She said that she was good enough with him attending the in Bothell, but not _alone_. Everyone listened attentively as she declared that she would be accompanying Emmet to Bothell, and will be taking Humanities' as a subject adjacent to Emmet, so as to keep an eye on him and to be together with him; because according to her three months was long time for her, to be without Emmet. Everyone was delighted and Emmet was so thrilled that he kissed Rosalie full on her mouth in front of everyone. Renesmee closed her eyes and everyone gave blissful pitied looks at them.

So November arrived and the forms were filled and submitted and accepted. The bags were packed, the advises and a word of caution was given to both of them to remain watchful and careful and return home at first if they sense something wrong with them. And with the reminders to call everyday and best wishes, Emmet and Rosalie departed for Bothell.

It was mid- Novembers, when we heard about Emmet and Rosalie, both were OK and Emmet was contented with himself for taking up the step to study Humanities. Though they told us over the phone that they were getting the usual glare and constant stares from the students like they used to get from students in Forks because of their pale skin (and probably because of Rosalie's beauty.). Though this time Emmet told us that he met a boy named Jack Cooper. He was a human and studied with Emmet. He was from New York and Emmet found him very amusing. Emmet told that he has actually hung out with this Jack a couple of time, and they both are good friends now, though Jack sometimes gets suspicious whenever they shake hands or any other gesture, in which Jack could touch Emmet's ice-cold body. Jack has several times asked Emmet to go to the doctor and get a check-up, but otherwise Jack is very well. We frequently heard from Em and Rose, and they went for hunting one night and considered it trouble-free and it was risk-free to them.

So Emmet and Rosalie were off to Bothell, Jasper was busy with his games, Alice and Renesmee always found something to amuse themselves with, Carlisle was attending his patients, and loving Esme was working on her desk which was loaded with blueprints of houses and she had even decided to go for restoring a 18th century house in the forest of north Ithaca.

Edward was his usual self but looks rather depressing now days. He always seemed to be in deep thoughts and at nights he spends his time listening to Beethoven rather than clasping with me in bed. I was fine with it. In its place, I too had something else in my mind.

**XXX**

I looked outside the window and found that the weather was not so bad; it was good enough for the activity which was in my mind. December was in the air and maybe Christmas too. The sun was behind the big clouds and the snow had thinned today. Even the winds were not that chilly, it was cool, but not like those winds which would freeze you from head to toe.

Jasper was playing Grand Theft Auto, Alice and Renesmee were flipping through magazines, Esme had just returned from north Ithaca and was brushing her hair, and Edward was surfing the net. Me, on the other hand was finding an excuse to execute my plane. No, it had nothing to do with Jacob… No, maybe it had, but it was not my purpose.

I came to living room, so everyone could see me. No one acknowledged me standing there, even when I cleared my throat.

"Hey, guys? I wanted to have a word." I said impishly.

Alice and Esme looked up from there magazines, and Edward and Esme turned to me. Jasper however remained fixed to his games, as the headphones blocked my right to be heard.

"Jasper?" I said, but there was no effect. I walked to the screen and pulled the plug. Jasper grunted noisily, and everyone laughed.

"Now I know what I have to do the next time…" Alice whimpered.

"Why would you do that?!" Jasper bellowed.

"Stop hyperventilating, it's not the end of the world…" I said and calmed him down. He didn't say anything, but his face told that he was really annoyed, and my issue better be important, or his lid would blow off.

"I just wanted to talk about something with you all." I said and everyone nodded.

I pushed my hair out of my face and began.

"I know, you all are already pre occupied with your work," I said and looked at Jasper, he rolled his eyes.

", but, I just noticed that the weather is so good outdoors-"

"- yeah, so what?" Jasper snapped.

"Jasper! Let her finish." Alice said and tugged his arm.

"So, we can do something fun out there… what do you say?" I said and hungrily searched for their response.

"Like what?" Renesmee asked tenderly.

"Like we can play… or have a picnic-"

"- It's snowing outside -" Jasper said uninterestingly.

"- It's not snowing now!" I said impulsively.

"Come to the point Bella." Edward said coolly.

"My point is…" I said, a little taken aback by Edward. "I just wanted to brush my skills, my ability to create Shields. I want them to be perfect and to be enhanced."

"But why? It is not like we are going to a fight tomorrow that you need to brush your power." Esme said animatedly.

"It is not about fighting, it is about _chiseling my talent_ with your help, of course!" I said and they all looked confused.

"See, I just said that, because I thought that it will be good once in a while, to have some fun outside as well as fortify your powers." I said and everyone looked positive.

"I am not in it." Jasper said coldly.

"Jazz! Please! Yours is the help I will need _desperately_!" I beseeched. "I am sorry, If I did anything wrong, but your ability can help me strengthen my power… please don't turn your back on me… _please._" I said and looked at him with pleading eyes.

He looked haughty, but then he softened his expression. "Okay…" he said and I flanged my arms around him with ecstasy.

"So okay, but how exactly can we help?" Alice asked softly.

"I have it all arranged." I said and winked at them.

_30 minutes later…_

So I got the Cullen's out of the house and they were pretty enthusiastic regarding the whole activity.

"So just do what I say, OK?" I said, with my hands on my hips.

So in the next few hours we practiced. I grouped myself with Renesmee and Alice, and told Jasper to control our emotions while I will try to duck them while using my Mental Shield. I know everyone must be thinking I was stupid, because it will have no effect.

"Bella you know that your shielding power has no effect on my mood control." Jasper said bluntly.

"I know Jasper, but that is what I have to overcome." I huffed.

"- But you can't - your shield can block physic powers that are connected to the mind, Bella, you can't do it. My power is not connected to the mind, they are physical." Jasper said in a matter of fact tone.

"Thanks for reminding Jasper, but I know what I am doing." I said and signaled him to control our moods.

At first I concentrated on Jasper, at his control, but nothing happened I felt heavier, and heavier, by every passing minute. I concentrated once again but it went in vain.

"Bella…" Alice grunted. "I feel the same, do something." She gasped.

I was doing everything I could, but Jasper's mood control was getting stronger and heavier. He was good in his effort to defuse the opponent, but I _sucked_ at protecting. Jasper saw our expressions, he realized that I was not getting any further, so he came back to a charming mood control, and Alice, Renesmee and I felt lighter and superior.

This feeling was like_, penetrating_, making me feel like I can do anything, it was possessing me of some unseen Satan, who can make me do anything, but I couldn't shield myself from it too. I again tried to stop Jasper_, to stop his mood control_, but it didn't work. It was difficult. Very difficult. It was like my invisible bubble shield didn't have any effect at all. Jasper let go of the 'penetrating' mood control (as I call It.) and made us feel quite normal and blissful.

"Stop the mood control now…" I said chilly to Jasper.

He rolled his eyes and turned his back on us and sighed heavily.

As he damned his control, _I tasted failure. _

I felt very repulsive from inside, and wished I haven't showed so much self-confidence in me, because there was always a chance that I will be proven wrong and I am proven wrong.

I asked Jasper to try again but I can feel my emotions plain. After a while I gave it a rest and asked Edward to try reading Alice's and Renesmee's mind.

Edward stood in front of us, and the invisible bubble or shield was formed and Edward looked firmly at Alice and Renesmee, meanwhile I felt a load on the shield and then Edward said it.

"No, nothing. The shield worked."

I must have felt assurance but this was the thing which I knew I can block. Edward's ability was telepathy and I knew that I can block it anyway… I even know that I can block Renesmee's ability. But I have to do something about Jasper.

Everyone suddenly became uninterested in 'chiseling' my abilities, and instead of paying attention to me everyone walked around the yard and enjoyed natural beauty. Esme and Alice examined the plants covered in frost. Renesmee looked at me bigheartedly, wanting to say something comforting to me, but I signaled her out, and she joined Esme and Alice. Edward had his back turned on me, so I couldn't see his face and Jasper was looking at me. I turned my back on him and recalled what had happened…

I felt ghastly. Obscurity fell over me, and then suddenly I felt guilt and shamefulness. A sense that I had wasted their time… I had a constant frown on my face, and couldn't look into their eyes… it was not about I being, not able to do anything, but; it was about, the family losing their trust in me, and thinking that I was a big show off or something…

Then I suddenly felt lighter, like I was trouble free, and in fact cheerful…

But how can this happen in a flicker?

I then firmly thought about my failure and then the obscurity returned to me… my expressions again changed to a frown. I deserved that I thought… I deserved to be left alone and frown over my deeds, and I don't deserve anybody's pity…

"Wha-?! How did you do that Bella?!" Jasper asked me affably.

"What did I do?" I said and suddenly became conscious that he was looking at me.

"You changed my emotions?" I asked him unexpectedly.

"Yes – yes I did! But, how did you block it?" Jasper said vivaciously.

"I-I blocked it?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeas you did!" Jasper derided "After you blocked Edwards's telepathy, you became sad, and rather felt guilty…um, I am sorry to interfere with your emotions, - eh - but I can't help it, and I felt them too. I thought that you were unnecessarily feeling worse and I just lightened your mood… But then you – I don't know – but sort of, pushed back my mood control and continued to sulk!" Jasper said dynamically, and everybody's attention turned towards us.

"I did that?" I asked him in a small voice.

"Y-yes! You did that! But, how?" Jasper asked in a thoughtful manner.

I didn't know it myself. I thought a little and summon up what had happened in the past two minutes.

I failed - I felt bad – guilty – miserable - then I suddenly felt happy, because of Jasper's mood control - then I thought how I felt, and firmed on my true emotions, which I believed were true and were what I deserved - and then I again felt gloomy.

I recited my summary to everyone and they nodded till I finished.

Everyone was in deep thought. But Renesmee looked as if she was thinking very hard.

"Mom, you said you felt your emotions change when Uncle Jazz changed them… right?" She said solicitously.

"Yes dear."

"And you _pushed_ them back… and felt 'gloomy' again, right?"

"Certainly."

"Hmm, and you said when you felt your emotions change, became happier, you firmed or concentrated… on your emotions – your true emotions… right?" She asked in deep thought.

"Yes dear, yes!" I said, waiting for her point.

"Hmm… so mom… maybe I get it…" she said and everyone looked at her hopefully.

"Mom, to stop Uncle Jazz, control your emotions – your feelings, according to his will, you have to truly and serenely _believe _in what _you believe_."

Everyone gasped silently, and comprehended what Renesmee has said.

"That is to say… you have to believe what you truly feel and want to feel." She said hurriedly.

"When Uncle Jazz changed your mood when you told him to, you were concentrating on how to stop it, concentrating on how will you stop him from changing your feelings… but when you really wanted to feel guilty, you sort of believe you deserve them, right? Sort of truly believe in your true feelings, and that stopped Uncle Jazz to change… your mood – your feelings – your belief."

"I think Renesmee is correct." Edward said pleasantly. "Bella, you need to focus on your true feelings."

I pondered a little.

"OK, Jasper. C'mon, let's do this once again." I said and looked at Alice to come and stand with me.

"No, Bella. I think you should first try yourself and then try it in a group." Alice said discreetly.

"OK." I said.

I felt quite good myself. Felt I deserved to feel good, after being able to stop Jasper for some seconds, i thought that this was my true feeling right now. Good and humble.

I signaled Jasper to start. He looked at me contently. My shield was formed. I felt a little dizzy at first, because I felt moving from one feeling to another at once. But after some time, I felt natural, like I felt before. Good and Humble.

"You did it again!" Jasper said with his hands up in the air.

"Wow Bella!" Alice said and hugged me.

"Congratulations, Dear…" Esme said optimistically.

"You did it!" Renesmee said and came towards me. She was at the same height as me, and more beautiful, if I may say so.

"I did it with your help. Without it, I might have gotten nowhere." I said and kissed her forehead. She blushed and hugged me.

"Well done." Jasper said grinning.

"Say that when I stop you from changing everyone's mood!" I said wickedly.

"Bella." This time Esme said. "In that matter I think that you should practice that, some… other time. Give yourself a little rest, maybe give your mind a little rest and we'll try that again later."

"All right." I said mildly and everyone went inside the house.

Regardless to say that I was able to defend myself, Alice and Renesmee, from Jasper's mood control the next day. Slowly and slowly I was able to do that to a large group, and I felt very contented. To see everyone gain confidence and trust in me made me feel excellent, and I learned to focus on what I believe and feel.

And I was good and humble when I finally chiseled my talent.


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: A SPECIAL NOTE TO MY SPECIAL READERS, DO TELL ME HOW YOU LIKED THEIS CHAPTER, AND IF, FEEL FREE TO GIVE A QUERY, REMARK, ADVISE – DON'T HESITATE!**_

**Chapter 11: Back to Normal **

A week has passed since I overcome Jasper's mood control. The feeling that I am immune to Edwards and Jaspers power is overwhelming. Everyone seemed to be happy for my significant accomplishment. Carlisle seemed very amazed and pleased to hear about it.

Since then, whenever Jasper or Edward is in the room, I form my invisible shield bubble on the rest of the family members, which habitually annoy both of them.

_It always proves to be great fun._

Now, I was in my house which was gifted to me on my nineteenth birthday. I was standing in my wardrobe, which was undesirably (thanks to Alice) the biggest room in the house. I wandered from one row of cloths to another, trying to find something decent to wear… which was exceptionally hard. After sometime I gave up, and picked up a blue, extensive silk dress and wore it.

"Bella, ready to go?"

I turned around and saw Edward standing on the door, wearing a sweatshirt, khaki pants and a wry expression. He scanned me, from head to toe, and asked again- "Ready?"

"Yes…" I said and wore my boots.

Nowadays, I don't know why, Edward seemed to be in deep thoughts, or else always wore an expression of deep turmoil. We even didn't have sex after the night he returned. Now, he looked at me, his eyes filled with admiration, but he shrugged and sighed.

"What's up?" I asked him. He looked at me, his brows all messed up.

"Nothing…" he replied moderately. His phone ranged.

"Yes, Carlisle." Edward said. I looked at him for the next few minutes, until he hung up.

"It was Carlisle; he said that Alice and Jasper won't be joining us for hunting." Edward said as he saw my perplexed face.

"But, why?"

"Because Jasper won't leave his Xbox, and Alice won't go without him." He said with a dry chuckle.

"Oh." I said with a little amusement. "So it's just you and me."

He gave a brusque nod.

"What about Renesmee?" I asked as we stepped out of the house and set our foot on the soft snow. The moon was full today.

"She is with Esme… sort of helping her with her blueprints…" Edward said and we sprinted towards the forest.

Edward being the fastest in the family, reached foremost, and I joined him a seconds shortly, but then I noticed that we were just at the edge of the forest.

"What happened? Why did you stopped?" I asked him, and trying to sense any danger.

"Let's walk." He said.

"OK." I said and we started walking into the heart of the forest.

We walked against the cold chilling winds, leaving our footprints on the snow. I kept touching the barks of trees as we kept passing them. After some time Edward spoke.

"It was good of Rosalie to accompany Emmet to Bothell."

"Yeah." I said and tried to figure out the direction of this conversation.

"Rosalie really comprehend his desires, it is the mark of _undying_ and _selfless _love." Edward said briskly.

"Of course…" I said gently.

"Hmm_… true love is very hard to find_ these days…" Edward said nastily and put his hands in his pockets.

I didn't know what Edward was talking about… was he talking about a fact that true love was hard to find… or was he talking about us? Or did he know that I was cheating on him?

"We found it." I said gaping at him.

"Yeah… _found it_…" Edward grumbled.

I looked away from him, I didn't know what he was talking about… or thinking, but why should I care – I mean – I love Jacob and it is Jake that I should worry about… not about what Edward is thinking…

_But still…_

_A small part inside me knows that Edward loves me very much… he would die for me if he has_ to…

I _just can't turn my back on him like this… forgetting and neglecting all his sacrifices and efforts_ to keep _me out of harm's way and happy…. _

… _forgetting that he tried to move away from me to keep me safe, forgetting he fought Victoria to save me, forgetting he turned me into a Vampire on my request, forgetting that he supported me till the end when I was pregnant, forgetting that he looked at me proudly that I was his wife…no, I can't forget that…_

"I sometimes… envy – Rose and Emmet… you know… they are so happy and just occupied with themselves… living – just – for each other…" Edward said glancing at me as we walked further into the woods.

I kept quit. Really, I didn't know how to follow his words, and just stare at the ground as we walked…

"Even Alice and Jasper, really they are made for each other… everyone says that –"

"– Everyone says that for us too." I cut in and said in a self-aggrandizing way.

Edward looked a little taken aback… but I was feeling a little heated up. The moon was full today, we passed some heavy bushes, several owls hooted somewhere and slowly and slowly the night turned darker. Edward sighed again and looked at me.

"Time is ruthless. Does not wait for anyone, does not obstruct, does not stop, does not linger, does not _change_… but people _change_… they sure do… _change_…" he said coolly.

I stopped deceased in my tracks. Edward came to a halt too, but he was a few steps ahead of me, as he realized it seconds later that I had stopped walking.

"What do you mean?"

"What do _you_ mean, what _I_ mean, Bella?" Edward spoke piercingly, and turned around to gaze at me.

There was silence for some time. We both stood four feet apart, facing each other. I looked at Edward, the moonlight, made his face shimmer, and enhance his sharp features. The features which I had always admired. For some moment I stood there scanning his body captivatingly, I haven't looked at it properly since five months… I looked at his firm forehead which was dense with lines as his eyebrows were all meshed up…his affable topaz eyes staring into mine, his full lips – which I haven't kissed for ages - .… his stiff arms crossed around his chest…

He was too staring me in my eyes; His face looked hardened, there was no softness left. It was like he was determinedly tried to read my mind but all was in vain. His face looked tortured; it was paler, as if someone has sucked out the remaining warmth from his body…. Then I spoke as an owl hooted in a nearby tree.

"Why are you talking about that stuff? W- why – what do you mean by 'people change', and if they do change why are you telling it to me? Why don't you just _come to the point_?" I asked impatiently.

He looked at the ground and gave a soft scuff, and again looked at me.

"Those _'stuff'_ are a part of my feelings right now…" Edward said in a mock tone, which didn't suit him.

"– that is what I feel right now, that is what I understand right now, do you have a problem with that?!" Edward said loudly and looked irate.

"Edward…" I said gently. He frowned at me. "Edward, what happened? What's wrong?"

"Yeah, Bella" He said softly as he calmed down. "What happened? What is wrong? That is what I was thinking, and now _I ask_ you – _now - I come to the point_ – what is wrong between us? What happened between us?"

He said and looked fiercely at me. I was quite numbed, because I had never seen Edward so mad. For a moment I didn't spoke, I was just taking in the heat of the moment, when Edward spoke again.

"Tell me, Bella. Tell me what happened that – you don't even look at me like you used to look – that you find excuses to pace away whenever I try to talk to you – that you run away whenever I come close to you – that you behave as a stranger with me, tell me Bella, what's wrong. Tell me!" Edward said anxiously.

I gazed at him. I was so lucky that Edward couldn't read my mind – because – then he could have heard that my mind was _screaming_ –

_Jacob happened to me!_

"Edward… you… and I – that – uh," I said, trying to form the correct words, those words which will calm him down, those words which will not break his heart…

"What? Just tell me if – if – anything is wrong… _with me_…" Edward said significantly and looked at me with pleading eyes.

I looked at his face and my heart, if it had existed… would have filled with pain. The pain of _betrayal_, _crime_ and _mercy_…

"Just tell me… that I did something wrong… tell me that it _h_ – _hurt you_ to love me… that I – I disappointed you and _someone else_…_did not_… _oh_…" Edward said painfully and his eyes glittered… was he crying?

"Edward, please." I swayed.

"No, Bella." He croaked. "Please, please, just tell me if anything is not right… if anything you are _hiding_… or that you feel I did _wrong_… Bella because it hurt me to see you like this… because _I love you_…"

I looked at Edward one more time… he looked vulnerable. His face all screwed up but still it had some charm to it.

"Please…" Edward said determinedly.

He loves me… he still does… but… _I love Jacob_… Edward wants to hear the truth, shall I tell him?

Tell him that I cheated on him?

Tell him that I proposed Jacob?

Tell him that I had sex with Jacob behind his back?

Tell him that I regretted my decisions?

Tell him that I don't belong with him anymore? Tell him that I don't love him anymore?

_But I don't love him anymore…_

_Do I? _

"_Just tell me_…" Edward croaked. "_It's fine, really… if s-someone else has filled my place… a – and if you're h-happy, it doesn't matter…_"

And I know that if I told Edward that I che- Love Jacob now… it would kill Edward and I don't want that to happen to Edward… after he had loved and cared for me all these years and fought everyone for me… I just can't let him die, and the reason being me…

Edward turned around, rubbing his eyes, not even glancing back at me he said firmly, his voice back to normal, "I'll take your silence, as what I had feared…"

"No!" I said finally. I don't what forced me to say that, but I just did that.

Edward had started to walk forward but he stopped as he heard my voice.

"No Edward, my silence doesn't," I took a deep breath. "Mean that I have _someone_ else in my life."

I don't know why I lied… but I didn't wanted to hurt Edward… apart from the fact that I loved Jacob, I still have some gratitude towards Edward… which may probably never cease. I know if Jacob ever found out that I said that, he is going to be mad, but I really can't hurt Edward.

"Edward, all those problems, between us – all those queries you have about me… that could be because I needed s–"

"Some space?" Edward turned and faced me and said nastily. "Bella that keeps getting old."

I was a little bowled over. How can I just choose the right word?

"Edward! I am sorry, if I ignored you all these months…" I said and moved a few steps forward.

"Edward I am sorry that I always – _I admit it_ – ran away from you… nothing is your fault… Edward don't feel hurt for things you are not supposed to… I know I _may_ – I _am_ - sounding like an idiot to you… but… I can't give you an explanation for that..." I said and my voice broke for some reason.

I didn't shed tears but I couldn't help my voice get shrill, this sensation was quite like the day I proposed Jacob… I don't know why I felt that way… but I did…

"I- I can't give you any reason that can settle down your every question, but I can tell you that I respect you, Edward." I said and felt a choke in my throat. "And I won't be surprised if you believe that… _I am a fool_, I – I, someone who can't _even express her feelings to her husband!_ I am sorry Edward… I maybe never really deserved you… but I thank you for taking good care of me which I never _seemed to return_…" I said choked up.

Edward's face was still stricken and his eyes staring back into mine, but they were not angry, they – were – somewhat please. And what was going on in my mind was a chaos. My emotions were all getting energized – ready to burst out…ready to be expressed and uttered... I shed some tears… but tried to calm my mind and my emotions.

"_And you have every reason t-to be mad at me E-Edward. I h-have disappointed y-you…_" I said covered my eyes with my right hand as I silently wept.

Edward didn't moved but watched me tentatively.

"You are wrong." He said softly.

I looked up. My face shone with tears.

"_You are wrong_." He repeated. "I am never disappointed in you, I can never be, Bella. And I don't think that you are to feel _hurt _thinking that I think that _you are a fool, a woman who can't even express her feeling to her husband and someone who does not deserve me." _Edward said and winked at me as he quoted my lines.I gazed at him timidly.

"But you are that Bella, the fool I love _madly_, the lady I love _deeply_ - who can't express herself in words, and the one I feel _immensely_ lucky to think that she think that I think I deserve her." Edward spoke delicately.

Something shook in the trees above, something moved in the thick bushes around us, but none of us paid attention to it, we were observed in the moment.

"You are that Bella who _completes_ me, even when I am _dead_, You are that Bella who makes my each dull and lifeless day worth living for, you are that Bella who when smiles make my world absolute, That Bella, who I love with my complete mind and soul – even I don't have one, that Bella who bear my child, almost died and changed her form to become one of my kind – _to be with me for eternity_. Now you tell me, how can I ever be disappointed by someone like her, who apologized at her mistakes and tells me that, that wonderful woman doesn't deserve a monster like me?" Edward said and smiled at me contentedly.

We stared each other for a moment. He looked gorgeous as his skin retained some kind of its missing warmth, he smiled at me, and his hair waved as the wind gently swept it. A tear rolled down my eye as Edward's word sank in my mind.

"I love you Bella, and I will love you forever and till the very last day of my life, no matter what happens." Edward said intensely.

It was like the world had stopped, like there was music running behind us, and there was a long pause in which we gazed at each other, smiling, and believing that yes, there was a ray of hope.

And the subsequently thing I know was that I ran and plunged myself on Edward and gave him a hearty kiss, full on the lips.

And when we parted, my hands were wrapped over his shoulders, and his hands had grabbed my waist. We stared into each other's eyes, and stood there waiting and smiling pleasantly.

"We forgot the sole purpose of the visit to the forest, didn't we?" I said pleasingly. "Hunting?" I said in a completing voice.

"That could wait…" Edward said warmly and moved his lips towards mine.

We kissed some more, standing in the forest in the middle of the night. But at that time I didn't cared, I was dissolved in the moment, like it was something I had to hold on tight… the thought of Jacob just slipped from my mind and I kissed Edward more devotedly, and in return Edward showed such enthusiasm that he lifted me from my feet and we kissed massively some more…

And the next thing was that I was in Edwards arm, quite happy and we did it in the bush! Edward and I both lay in a comparatively soft bush around us, the earth beneath us felt supple, and we kissed each other some more… Edward lay on top of me and tried to remove my dress, as my hands were under his shirt. "It…. has …no …zipper…" I gasped naughtily. Edward chuckled and kissed my cheeks. In return I kissed Edward on his lips and my hands were in his hair, Edwards hands reached at the hem of my long silk dress, and he tore it so that I was half naked beneath him. His action really thrilled me and I chortled. I quickly removed my boots and threw them out of the bush, and wrapped my legs around Edwards's lower body. He in return seized me more tightly and kissed my neck and chest. After some time he tore the remaining dress that was left on me and I was nude beneath Edward except my black lingerie.

In return I removed Edward's sweatshirt and laired it under me so that the stones didn't smidgen me. Edwards's torso shown bright as the moonlight hit it, and he appeared to me as the Roman god I have always related him to… slowly and steadily, all the fabrics on our body were removed and thrown out of the bush, slowly the passion between us increased and in some time sweat appeared on our body as we were lost in our sex…

I ran my hands on Edward's back enjoying everything that was happening… Edward's hand moved from my neck to my chest… he played for some time there and moved his hands down for more adventure… the bush provided us with confined space, but it only increased the intensity of our sex… as the twigs on the bushes touched our body we went on doing it more and more and more… admiring each moment…

After seventy minutes or so…we remained there… just like that in the bush… Edward on top of me, staring lovingly into my eyes… I ran my thin index finger on his forehead and stroked his angular nose and glided my finger swiftly on his lips… Edward smiled and stared some more in my eyes and then kissed my lips again… his lips curving on my lips like magic, like he missed touching them for a long time… his hands were tight on my waist, and my hands at the back of neck, dragging him down… my hands moved from his neck to his icy cold, carved chest… we kissed like by no means before, our mouths glued together and there was no separating… Edward moved his lips slowly on mine… and smooched every corner of my face… and then finally embraced me in his chest in a warm cuddle…

For some time we lay there and gazed at the sky, which was twinkling with stars…the moon which was shining brightly, appeared to have moved from its former position, and then I realized that it was because of the time that has passed since Edward and I were in the forest…

"What time is it?" I asked Edward as my hands laid on his chest.

"Half past three." Edward said cheerfully, without even checking his watch.

"O My God! Everyone would be so worried!" I said anxiously and started to get up.

"Hey…" Edward said and grabbed my hand. "They won't be worried… if they would have, they must've been here hours ago…" he said cordially. "…maybe Alice saw us…" He finished timidly.

I smiled a little at Edward. "But, we were here for hunting, weren't we?"

"Yeah… but I don't regret what happened, instead of hunting… do you?" Edward asked me teasingly.

I thought for a second, feeling like I was forgetting something then in a flash I looked into Edward's eyes and said "No I don't." in a hasty voice and he in return kissed my forehead.

"Well, then let's find a dear." Edward said and picked up his pants from the ground and wore it.

"Well, unfortunately, you left me with no cloths, see." I said and pointed to the pieces of blue silk on the ground.

"Oh sorry my bad… but you look good naked –" He said heartily and I punched him in the leg. "Uh! Just kidding…!" he said and grabbed my wrists.

"Just wait here…" He said hastily and sprinted out of the forest. But before even I could make out where he had gone or try to call out his name and ask where is he going and leaving me naked behind, he was back with another dress, this time it was knee-length and yellow in color.

"That was fast…" I said as he handed me the dress and helped me putting it on.

"Could have been faster, if I hadn't tried to find a pair of jeans… but then I thought – what the hell? And then I went with another dress…" Edward said and zipped my dress.

"Oh, well thanks." I said amusedly.

We were done hunting after some couples of hours and we returned home at half past five in the morning. We both washed our faces hurriedly to get rid of the mud and of course the blood and we were again sparkling as went to the Cullen Mansion at seven.

"Look who's here." Jasper said sitting in front of the TV playing Street Fighter, as we headed into the drawing room.

"Oh," Carlisle said and patted us on the back.

"Mom! Dad!" Renesmee cheered.

"Good morning…" Esme said and hugged us.

Everyone looked extra happy today.

"So how was last night?" Alice asked suddenly, eying us slyly.

Edward chuckled. Maybe Alice saw us. I had to take the stand.

"You mean the hunting, right?" I asked unexpectedly.

"Of course, _what else_ Bella?" Alice said mischievously, and Esme and Jasper smiled impishly.

"It was good…" Edward began, suppressing his own wicked smile. "…and easy."

"Yeah, and I wonder, why it took you the whole night then?" Jasper said eying both of us puckishly.

I just looked at everybody's faces and sighed. _Alice definitely saw something and she told everyone._

"Bella, was _this _the dress you wore last night, when _you_ went off into the woods for hunting?" Alice asked playfully as she pointed at my short yellow dress.

"Yes…" I said firmly, but Jasper snorted.

"Are you sure?" Alice said teasingly.

"Yes I am." I said and poked Edward on the back when he was no longer able to restrain his smile.

"Well_, I_ doubt that this is the same dress I saw in _my vision_ last night…" Alice declared humorously in a soft tone. "I think it was a little longer… and maybe blue, don't _you_ think?"

She stared in my face sniggering, and I could hear some more laughing from the background.

"Yes, umm, maybe you are right, I-I changed it… yeah I changed it." I said pushing my hair back from my face.

"And may I ask… why you changed it? I mean was it _dirty_, by _something_?" Alice said pointing at Edward and then curling her lip in a wayward way. And I understood that her _'dirty'_ and _'something'_ were words used in place of _'torn'_ and _'sex'_, respectively. I grew the most violent shade of red and stormed out of the drawing room, and as I stormed off, everyone let out there laughs except Renesmee, who asked, "Why, what did you see Aunt Alice?"

"Nothing sweetie – Bella! Wait!" Alice said and followed me into the room.

"Leave me alone!" I said irritably and shut the door and soon felt guilty for being so harsh, as I sat on my bed.

"Can I come in?" Alice said in a soft tone as she knocked the door.

"Yes, please." I said gently.

Alice opened the door and sat beside me on the bed.

"I am sorry, if I hurt you, Bella." She said in a tender tone, her pixie like face staring into mine.

"No, it's ok…" I said.

"I didn't mean to – me – I just saw the vision…" she said pleadingly.

"And that is why you didn't come with us?" I said suspiciously.

"No, I saw the vision after hours – maybe two – when you left. Actually we would have joined you, but Jasper… he said we can do some more days without hunting as he was busy shooting the people in the stupid game of his." She said rather sadly.

"So, what did you saw in the vision?"

Alice beamed.

"Well for starters… I saw you both having an argument…" she said lovingly.

"Did you hear us?" I asked promptly.

"No it was vague… then I saw you, you know running towards him and you know…" She blushed. "You know, kiss him… and then I saw a bush…"

I hid my face in my hand. "Oh God." I sighed.

She giggled.

"And then I saw the bush – you know – shook …and cloths flying out of it, and pieces of a blue dress … and pretty groans…"

"Oh… no…no no no… I am sorry you saw that…" I said shamefully, although blushing.

"But _you_ did it in the bush? _In the bush_? You of all the people, _YOU_!" Alice said in a surprised tone.

"Now, you are making it sound like an achievement." I said untangling my hair.

"Ha! You even scored more than Emmet and Rosalie." Alice said mockingly.

"Shut up…" I said and threw a pillow at Alice.

"But…" I said as I got one blow in the head by the pillow. "Why did you tell everyone?"

"I didn't mean to! But when it was three in the morning, Carlisle and Esme were worried, and they were talking about going into the forest and you know, find you…" Alice said dynamically.

"But that would have ruined your _se_-uh, night, and I didn't wanted that, after, when both of you had been so distant"

"Who said we were distant?" I asked promptly.

"Bella, for the past few months, we were so worried about you… because Edward seemed so sad and you so desolate… But then after all those days you were again having – uh – again talking, so I didn't wanted to disturb you, so that is why I had to told everyone about my vision… oh, but I didn't told Renesmee, so don't worry…" Alice said animatedly.

"Well, I don't know what to say." I said as Alice stared at me keenly.

"Well, I am just glad, like everyone else that you are both happy… And that is the reason everyone else was happy today when they saw you and well, that is where all the mocking started…"

I sniggered and Alice looked at me intently. "So, I hope you are not mad right now?"

"No I am not." I said sincerely.

"I am glad. Phew… everyone was so vexed about you two… thank god everything is back to normal." Alice said to herself in a relieved tone and walked gracefully out of the room, leaving me behind to think that what have I done, as I watched the snow plunging in the ground as it was normal in a bitter December day like this.

**XXXXXX**

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